I'm Officially Jealous of Franklin Richards

Now if I could just figure out where to get my own...

From the pretty stellar FF #1 by Matt Fraction and Mike Allred.

Hey USAgent! Who's Your Favorite Action Hero?

John Walker's unexpected response via the USAgent miniseries from comics legend, Jerry Ordway.

An Ode to Atomic Comics

Atomic Comics was my first comic book store.

As I alluded to a few weeks ago, I didn't start collecting comics until I moved to Arizona in the early 90s. What I didn't mention was that Atomic Comics was my mecca when I was just starting out. I don't exactly remember when I first went there, but I'll never forget what it was like.

While I never had the pleasure in calling Atomic Comics 'my' store, it has been the Plutonic form of Comic Book Store since I first walked through it's doors. Every new store I go to, I compare to Atomic and am always left a bit disappointed. Not to totally disregard the great stores that I do go to - like House of Secrets, Comics Factory, Hi-De-Ho, or Meltdown (That is to imply that I'm something of a comics mercenary and I go to whatever great store I'm near) - but they all have they're little quirks that make them not as awesome as Atomic was all those years ago.

You see, in those days, my family and I would make routine trips from our dreary desert town to the big city of Phoenix (and it's suburbs) every weekend. We'd do everything from see movies to bulk shopping at Costco and on lucky occassions, I got to go to Toys R Us. It was during one of these routine trips that I got my hands on a copy of the Mesa Yellow Pages (this is pre-internet days, remember) and discovered a comic store near some of our haunts. "Can we go to this place," I pleaded, clutching the yellow pages, "Atomic Comics?"

Set deep in an unassuming shopping center, Atomic Comics was like something out of my eleven year-old imagination. This location (their first of many) was decently sized and filled to the brim with the books I craved. The aisles were wide and inviting, the walls littered with promotional posters and 'top shelf' expensive books that I could only dream of owning, and then there were the rows and rows of comics. Lining the entire store, it seemed, was a huge selection of what seemed like every book printed in the past three months. It was exactly what a comic book store should have been.

A year later, they moved to a bigger space and ideal version of the store became locked in my brain. One wall dedicated to the week's new books, another longer stretch to the recently released, stacks of back issue boxes, a few shelves of trades, and a big, friendly cashier behind the counter. It was a celebration of comic books and the culture, refusing to shy away from that which made them great. For years I went to that store, and I never walked away from it without a smile on my face and a few dollars missing from my wallet.

As the years progressed and I drifted from home (and comics for a while), I didn't visit the store as much as I used to. I know they moved a few times, once to a huge space that seemed almost too good to be true and then again to a slightly smaller one more fitting of it's niche. I know they doubled their store count, opening stores much closer to my dreary desert-y home, that were fancy and nice, but still not quite as cool as the original. I remember cheering when I saw them pop up in Kick Ass, noting to who was next to me that I'd been to that store (kind of). Even though I hadn't been close to an Atomic Comics in a while, I still felt a sense of pride for them when I saw their triumphs. "Good on them," I thought, "I'm glad they're still around to usher in the kids to my favorite hobby."

Then, yesterday, I read that Atomic Comics is going out of business effective immediately and my heart sank a little.

The closing of this wonderful place is an end of a very good era. For the first time in all my years of collecting, I worry about the future of the printed comic book. On one hand, I know deep down it's just the loss of a small market comic book chain. But on the other, I feel like it's the loss of an iconic, perfect comic store and if something like that can't survive than what hope does the rest of the industry have?

Maybe I worry to much. I tend to do that. I'm sure everything will end up fine, and in the end, it'll just be another casualty on this road of economic hardships. I'm sure I'll find a store out there like Atomic Comics eventually, and everything will be fine. I just hope those eleven year-olds who are thinking about collecting find it first and it affects them like Atomic did me.

Farewell Atomic Comics, you'll be missed. I'll hope every day your comics-style resurrection.

Morphodroids

As a child of the 80s, it's not often that I'm surprised by old geek advertisements. I'd like to think that I've seen and/or have heard of the vast majority of the toy lines that came out during my first decade. So imagine my surprise when I came across this tonight while reading an issue of Dr. Strange:


Click to embiggen

Blasting out from Cleveland in the glorious year of 1985 comes, "Morphodroids: Warrior Robots You Bring to Life!" Shockingly, these shitty versions of Go-Bots failed to make a dent in the hyper-consumerist 1980s, leaving would-be childhood icons like Poizen and Sintar to wallow in obscurity. That said, as terrible as these things look, I kinda totally want to see them in action.

So... anyone have a time machine I can borrow?

Spider-Man's Newest Invention...

Is delicious, but ineffective.

My love for Adventure Time just increased by infinity thanks to this awesomeness (and this awesomeness) from it's creator Pendleton Ward, via his twitter via Comics Alliance.

Worst Babysitter EVER.

At least I'd know the kids wouldn't get shot. Oh... wait.

For the record: this is the most inaccurate cover ever. I desperately want to read the story depicted on this cover. What do I get instead? A lame ass child kidnapping/selling story in which Frank Castle struggles to beat up what appears to be a mid-40s Puerto Rican woman. Sigh. I guess I'll have to stick with Nomad for all my vigilante baby stories...

And Now, Captain Picard Riding An AT-AT

That is all.

*The events depicted do not reflect the views of this blog or it's author. While TNG is amazing, it's a hollow shell when it comes to the magnificence of Star Wars. Even if Jean Luc Picard is pretty fucking rad... for a Frenchmen.

Superman, Super Comedian

Found in the wilds of the internet without credit given. Brownie points to whoever knows who's responsible this. UPDATED: You can go give credit where credit's due here. Thanks to Dan Litzinger for the heads up.

The Unimaginable Horror of Comic Sans

In 1998, a Silver Surfer issue committed the ultimate crime against all comics...



They lettered the book in COMIC SANS. Two months later, the book was cancelled and the Silver Surfer hasn't had an ongoing series since. May that be a lesson to you the next time you think of using that foulest of fonts.

JM DeMatteis and Jon J Muth get a pass for this issue. The true culprit is John Costanza, the letterer. For SHAME!

The Return of 8Ball!

Who's that posing threats to the strongest woman this side of Titania?



That's right. Even when bruisers like the Rhino, Dragon Man, or that other dude that I honestly can't place, are in the room only one man is willing to step up and take matter's into his own hands. The hands of a disgraced propulsion engineer/pool shark, and sensational character find of 1991(Sorry Darkhawk), 8-Ball!

I'll be he mops the floor with-



What. No, this isn't how things are supposed to-



Look at him ricochet. Are we sure he's not related to Speedball?



That was fairly unsatisfying. Where's the man that stood toe to toe with Sleepwalker and won? The man who had the balls (see what I did there?) to convince his friends to dress up like him and commit crimes in a flying triangle rack?

It was probably because he didn't have his stick. I'm sure he'd do much better in a rematch. Right?

Right?



At least he's still got his sense of humor! Witty banter is the first step becoming a great super villian. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of him in no time...

This battle royale brought to you by Dan Slott and Paul Pelletier in She Hulk #6

No, Seriously, Speedball and Namorita?

Because this is really getting weird. First it was Darkhawk #26 in 1993 and now it's She Hulk v2 #5 in 2004. What is happening? Two separate mentions of something totally innocuous in books separated by ten years. I need to know where this comes from!

Did they ever hook up? Or did Speedball cop a feel at some point? Is he just giving her shit about the time she had a one-night stand with a villain? Or is he just jealous that he wasn't on the receiving end of her drunken horniness?

I'm totally baffled. Can someone help a brother out? Or do I need to add old issues of New Warriors to my list of 90s comics to buy?

Please don't make me buy New Warriors...

The mystery deepens thanks to Dan Slott and Paul Pelletier. Thanks a lot for that...

Batman Hates America

Or just eagles... I can't really tell.

So, I was wondering, do you think Batman has to be really careful how he's perceived publicly now? I mean, a few years ago when he was just an Gotham City urban legend (that hung out with Superman) it didn't really matter what he did or who he was a dick to. But now with Bruce Wayne publicly behind him financially, do you think he has paparazzi following him around?

Think about it, even in a world where aliens declare war on your planet on what seems to be a weekly basis, the Bruce Wayne/Batman connection has to be big news. And big news means the tabloids are going to be all over that shit, making up any stories they can about the former urban legend.

I can see the newsstand headlines now: "I'm Batman's bastard child", "Batman in love triangle with Wonder Woman and Superman", "Batman and Joker, arch rivals or secret lovers?" or even "Look what the Cat dragged in (with a picture of Catwoman, natch)".

Worse would be the reaction to poor Bruce Wayne. For every terrible made up 'controversy' regarding the Batman, there would be a vicious backlash from the offended always threatening to boycott everything Wayne Enterprises. If I were the PR person, I'd just quit now. There's no amount of money that could make that job worth it, especially if the person mucking with the plans was secretly the guy you were trying to spin the stories for.

Sounds like a job for Sisyphus.

Anyone else hoping for a Bat-Press Secretary One-Shot? Come on, you know it'd be awesome...

Bats America hate courtesy of Ty Templeton and Rick Burchett in The Batman And Robin Adventures #4

Manga Robin Makes a Good Point

Purloined from the depths of the interwebs, credit to be given once I figure out where it came from.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Sandwich

My intention was to sit down and write a review of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows (part 1). I had it all planned out too. I was going to talk about how it was overly long, missed a few key plot points, and, while better than the preceding movie, left a lot to be desired.

Then I looked through my old posts and found I said almost the same thing about the last movie that came out.

Sigh. I'm like a broken record.

So hey, I'm not going to bore either one of us with a rehash. Instead, I want to talk to you about Ginny Weasely (Bonnie Wright) and the crazy lack of chemistry she has with Harry (Daniel Radcliff). In fact there is so little chemistry that you could replace her with a sandwich and the movies actually get better.

Allow me to demonstrate:



Check out this scene from Half Blood Prince. As the food runs out, this boring Honor's dinner turns to a tense standoff as Harry sets his sights on the most delicious meal left. Cannibalism never tasted so good.



Here's a scene from The Deathly Hallows in which Professor Werewolf nearly kills Harry after he makes unwanted advances on the most gorgeous sandwich in the land. The lesson here is never get between a werewolf and his turkey club, even if
you're the chosen one.



Also from the Deathly Hallows, here's Harry about to take that first luscious bite from that which has teased him from so long. Each bite will be ecstasy, the flavors exploding on his tongue; it's the moment his life has been leading up to.

________________________________________________________

Admit it, you've never been more intrigued by Ginny Weasley than you have at this moment. Also, I bet you really want a Turkey Club.

In conclusion, when you go see The Deathly Hallows, or any of the Harry Potter movies, try to mentally replace Ginny, and any references to her, with a sandwich of your choosing and I guarantee it'll make the movie 75% better. It'll also help you ignore all the plot holes and poor pacing.

Hooray for Sandwiches!

The 1st Annual LA Taco Crawl

Today I am taking part in what should be a signature event in every man's life: A Taco Crawl.



It works just like a Pubcrawl, but without the music or official sanctioning. We have a list of a little over a dozen taco joints (both standing and mobile) and will endeavor to eat at least one classy taco at each place throughout the day.

It will be a whole lot of fun, and I'm hoping it turns into a regular thing (or hopefully a semi-annual thing).

Even though it's not entirely geeky, I wanted to let you all know about it AND plug my twitter at the same time (see what I did there?). If you would like to join us (digitally) on our trek through Mexican deliciousness, check out either @platypusrobot, or @RobGokee.

We ought to be posting all kinds of reviews, pictures, and random shit that happens. It'll be fun. Fun that I wanted to pass on to you.

*UPDATE*

Talk about a huge success! With SIXTEEN tacos under my belt (or rather, in my belly) and two fresh made Churros, we called it a day. And everything was nothing less than amazing. My personal top three (in no particular order), can't miss tacos in LA are officially:

1- The tender and delicious Lamb Tacos at My Taco
2- The sweet and flavorful Pineapple Pastor Tacos at Metro Balderas
3- The hand battered and WAY better than anything at "Best Fish Tacos in Ensenada", Fish Tacos at Ricky's Fish Tacos

With special mentions going out to the Bacon Chocolate Tacos at CaCao and the GINORMOUS shrimp tacos at La Estrella.

So much good food. I can not WAIT until next time.

Tucson Bears

Tucson is a funny town.

It's not just the high concentration of hippies and hipsters, not the abundance of stupid college kids (No judgment here, I totally was one), or the giant tiki head on the corner of 4th ave and 8th street. I mean, those things make the town kinda fun, but that's not the weird thing.

No. Somehow in this town of super cool thrift store connoisseurs, there are still all kinds of low priced gems in all the stores. Looking for a sweet powdered blue suit for under twenty bucks? Done. A belt buckle of pig? Only if you got ten bucks. How about a bear shitting into his sisters pot of honey?

Think about that last one for a second, and then look at what I found for a dollar.



Can you tell what's happening in that scene? Is that brother bear about to pull the worst prank ever? Or is that sister bear really anxious to have her turn? Most pressing: Who in the world would create such a monstrosity?

I didn't know whether to be appalled or overcome with laughter. Instead, I just stared at the thing for a solid ten minutes.

And then I convinced the GirlFriend to buy it for me. She's the best.

This Honey Pot Shitting Bear Statue is like Tucson in a nutshell: The weirdest fucking thing ever, but so awesome that you can't resist showing off to everyone you know.

That was my weekend. How was yours?

Behold The Might Catlactus!

As seen on Agent M's tumblr and drawn by Katie Cook, this is one of the most fantastic cat/cosmic being mashups I've ever seen. And definitely the most adorable.

This is a meme that I could stand to see more of.

Check the tumblr for more cat mashups, including my other favorite: M.O.D.O.C, The Mental Organism Designed Only for Cuteness.

Johnny Blaze: Geek protector

If there's one thing Johnny hates, it's people picking on Peter Parker.

From the classic Spirits of Vengeance # 6 by Howard "I didn't mean to fuck up Spider-Man" Mackie and Adam "I can draw more than just Wolverine" Kubert.

Rock me to Valhalla

Is it just me or is a heavy metal rock opera about the Norse Gods fighting the Greek Gods long LONG overdue? It would be the epic of epics and utterly destroy our notion of blockbuster cinema.

I think I need to start a band.

The Most Brutal Mash Up Ever

What do you get when you mix the heaviest of Heavy Metal with an girliest of girlie 80's pop? Pure awesomeness.


Of course, there is no way that Jem is more brutal than Nathan Explosion. I'm just saying...

image via Diana Sprinkle