Weekend Matinee: TIME COP

It's a holiday weekend and, if you're anything like me, you need something to keep you busy between the long days of BBQs and the glorious nights of fireworks. You're in luck, I got just the thing: the 1994 Jean Claude Van Damme classic TIME COP!



Truth be told, this is probably my favorite Jean Claude movie ever (sorry, Double Team). The story goes that in the distant future of 2004, time travel has been invented and with it a time police force has been created. The best cop on the force is, of course, Jean Claude, a man with a tragic past and nothing to lose. You know, typical action movie stuff. Throughout the movie, the point is made that time is like a lake and any change can cause a ripple through the rest of time and that's where my brain starts to hurt.

So, okay, they establish in the movie that whatever happens in the past is instantly reflected in the future with a scene where a young Ron Silver is cut on the cheek and his older counterpart instantly develops a scar. It occurs to me then, that once someone goes back in time to change things, ideally, the cops would have no idea. Minor infractions, like gaming the stock market or picking up an issue of Action Comics #1, might not have that big of an effect, but bigger things like mass destruction/murder definitely would. So, if a criminal wanted to, couldn't they just shoot a person or two and change the future where the cops came from? Also, if they went back for a few months and raised to prominence, wouldn't the future change so the time cops wouldn't know that they weren't supposed to be there? These are the things that keep me awake at night.

This week's clip, I think, is a great example of this. In it, Jean Claude shows up in 1929 to arrest some time fugitive who has apparently been in the past long enough to become a successful stock broker at a large company. The fugitive resists, resulting in a fist fight turned future gun fight in a very busy office. I can't not believe that this didn't have a major effect on the future. In so much, that I almost believe that every time a time cop went back to stop someone, the future they returned to was a different place than before. It blows my mind if I think about it too much.

Instead, I say we focus on what's important: Jean Claude's knack for dialogue and his huge mullet.



Ahhh.... Good times.

Weekend Matinee: HOUSE OF THE DEVIL

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you want to relive those days gone by of creepy horror matinees, I got just the thing: Ti West's HOUSE OF THE DEVIL!



Over this past week I've been mainlining horror movies, and this one jumped out to me as the best. It's a total throwback movie (which can be pretty dicey) to those slowly paced late 70s/early 80s horror classics that values atmosphere over a body count.

The story's pretty simple: A babysitter agrees to fake sit a non-existent baby, only to get terrorized by some kind of evil cult. You know, standard pre-slasher horror stuff. It's not a flash/bang, Michael Bay type of movie, but you have the patience for it, it's totes worth it.

For this week's clip, I have something totally non-indicative of the movie: A dance sequence. What can I say, I'm a total sucker for a cute girl dancing around to some kitchy 80s music. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm a total sucker for anyone dancing to any kind of music. Whatever. You should go watch this movie!

Weekend Matinee: CLOVERFIELD

It's Sunday afternoon (really!) and, if you're anything like me, you're still all fired up after seeing Super 8 that all you really want to watch is another great JJ Abrams-inspired monster romp. Well, why don't we check out the obvious answer to our genre pangs: the 2008, Matt Reeves directed CLOVERFIELD.



Man, I wish every giant monster movie was like this one. Not with the constant shaky, "I'm videotaping all of this in real time" stuff, but the smaller, man-on-the-street style of the story. I dig my sweeping epics as much as the next guy, but there's something more satisfying when the we only get to see a small sliver of the larger story.

To me, and I'm sure many others, Cloverfield is what the '98 remake of Godzilla should be. It celebrates the idea of a giant monster attacking a major metropolis, and doesn't get too bogged down in biology or Jamiroquai hits.

It's been a while since I've seen this one, but man has it stuck with me. It wasn't necessarily the characters that did, but rather the intensity and those fantastic 'movie moments' that make me proud to be the genre fan that I am. I sincerely hope that Cloverfield gets either a direct sequel soon, or at the very least another spiritual followup a la Super 8. Because I'm eagerly waiting for the day when I can do that three movie marathon.

So my clip this week, ironically, has no giant monsters in it. Instead, it's my favorite scene in the movie where the heroes are attacked in the sewer by some smaller, helper monsters and awesomeness occurs.

Weekend Matinee: JASON X

In case you weren't aware, I'm currently in preproduction for my first feature film and this week was pretty awesome. Why, you ask? Because this week we got our first cast member, horror legend and all around crazy guy KANE HODDER! And I'm totally over the moon for it. So to celebrate, I figure we might as well turn our attention to Kane's final turn at his star making role as Jason Voorhees in the underrated 2001 end-of-an-era masterpiece: JASON X



Okay, so maybe it's not that good, but it still holds a very special place in my heart. This was the first Friday the 13th movie I ever had the pleasure of watching, and it totally opened my eyes at how fun the genre could be. I mean, come on, it's about a frozen psychopath getting unfrozen in the future and terrorizing space cadets on their crazy future space station. Try to tell me that isn't awesome!

And then, for the third act twist, our titular character gets upgraded from the murderous zombie he was (Remember he was brought back to life in part 6) into a murderous cyber zombie with the influx of nanomachines. Finally, a Jason that can terrorize my grandkids just like he terrorized me.

Sure the movie is a bit uneven, with terrible Syfy movie-esque music and some pretty terrible acting, but it makes no bones about what it's trying to be: A fun slasher about a mentally challenged camp kid in space with only his machete.

This week's clip is the first appearance of Jason 3.0 - Or would it be 4.0 because of all that demon worm stuff from Jason Goes to Hell? - as he shows off what his fancy new body can do. ENJOY!

Weekend Matinee: RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're looking for something to watch this beautiful Memorial Day saturday while you're busy nursing that hangover from the night before. In that case, I have the perfect movie for you, the beautiful horribleness that is RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD.



This is the kind of bad movie that I love. Between the bad plotting, shoddy storytelling, and ridiculous scripting, this one is just begging for a full on group screening with plenty of booze and quippy one liners. It's like The Room kind of bad, and that's what makes it so awesome.

By far and away, the best thing about this movie is the kid hero (who's name escapes me, but whatever) and all of his scenes. From his first appearance where he tries to do his homework while his grandfather rambles about his boring ass life to his experiments with his homemade laser beam, the kid is pure gold. Oh yeah, did I mention that he makes a laser gun out of laserdisc player and then subsequently kills his hamster with it? Yeah. It's amazing! Totally worth the price of admission right there.

The best thing about this movie? You can watch it RIGHT NOW! FOR FREE! Youtube for the win! If you're still not convinced at how awesome this movie is, then check out the trailer. And if that doesn't do it for you, man I don't know what to do with you. If a free movie doesn't get you excited, maybe you need to reexamine your priorities in life. I'm just saying...

Weekend Matinee: I COME IN PEACE

It's Sunday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're wishing the weekend was at least a week longer because seriously this 'working five days in a row' thing is for the birds. Alas, with only one day before the grind starts up again in earnest, the only solution to making a weekend epic is an epic movie. And to me, nothing fits the bill this weekend better than the 1990 Dolph Lundgren classic, I COME IN PEACE!



I'll never forget the tagline for this movie: I come in peace... you leave in pieces. For years it stuck with me, even though I didn't see the movie until relatively recently. It was one of those trailers that was attached to some VHS I had, you know the ones, but never could seem to find at the video store. Between this and Step Kids (which changed it's title...), most of my childhood was spent hunting videos that I was convinced existed only to taunt me.

Anyway, it's probably a good thing I didn't see this one when I was eight. Dolph Lundgren plays a cop on the trail of a series of drug related murders, forced ODs, which finds himself in the path of an angry, pale, vaguely European space alien. The alien as it turns out, is trying to harvest his own drug, by forcing his victims to OD on heroin. Sounds like the best drug ever!

Between the wanton ODs, there are plenty of crazy action scenes involving everyone's favorite action chemist and this pasty, well armed alien. But honestly, that's pretty standard fare when it comes to my weekend matinee movies, so you should be expecting that already. But if you forgot, this week's clip will be happy to remind you. Here's Dolph beating up a buncha dudes. ENJOY!

Weekend Matinee: THE ELIMINATORS

It's Saturday afternoon and if you're anything like me, you're so incredibly bummed out that the PSN network is still down and you can't watch check out the Netflix streaming. It sucks man. What am I supposed to do, watch it off my computer like a schlub? How am I supposed to surf the internet and watch a movie then! ugh.

Anyway, for those of you with the means to find your awesome movies elsewhere, may I suggest the 1986 classic: THE ELIMINATORS!



This is one of those genre classics that doesn't get nearly the amount of attention it deserves. While not truly the movie that the poster describes, it does follow the Mandroid (I'll give you one guess which one that is) as he tries to stop an evil madman, with help from Tasha Yar, a Han Solo knock-off, and a ninja. It's a match made in 80s heaven.

This is the kind of movie that I always wanted to see when I was a kid, that for some reason alluded me. Thank the gods for the internet and fellow genre fans that turned me on to this, because it's a doozy. Sure, it's slow in parts, but I can't really stay angry at a movie that involves a cyborg that's half tank, hillbillies riding suped up ATVs, a fight with Cro-Magnons, and the ninja son of a scientist (it's like a stereotype squared). It's got something for everyone.

Just check out this compilation of awesomeness and try holding yourself back from rushing out to find this one.



Love it! PROTIP: This would make an excellent double feature with MEGAFORCE, for that perfect "this is what I wish GI JOE Rise of Cobra was like" marathon.

Weekend Matinee: HARD TICKET TO HAWAII

It's Saturday afternoon and if you're anything like me, you're in the mood for something awesome to go along with all the free comics you got today. You're in luck, because I got just the thing: Andy Sidaris' 1987 masterpiece, HARD TICKET TO HAWAII.



It's weird, I didn't see this movie until fairly recently, but everything about it felt familiar. It's as if they took all of the cliche's of an 80s action movie, boiled them all down to their base components and fused them back together. The result is nothing less than pure, uncut awesome.

This is, hands down, one of the craziest movies I've ever seen. It's as if every scene was a made on a dare to out do the previous scene, and to keep pushing the bounds of good taste without totally devolving into a Troma-esque parody of itself. A total crowd pleaser, Hard Ticket to Hawaii needs to be a part of your collection, like, yesterday.

Weekend Matinee: THE THING WITH TWO HEADS

It's Sunday afternoon, and if you're anything like me, you're thinking "Hey, isn't this normally a Saturday thing?" Well, yes it should be, but a combination of work, the PSN network being down, and general life distractions have kept me from it. Have no fear though, because today we're back with a sure-fire classic that will make your Sunday the greatest Funday ever! Say hello to the 1972 classic: THE THING THAT HAD TWO HEADS!



Really, when you get right down to it, there's nothing finer than a two headed, half-racist convict on a dirtbike to chase away any blues you might have.

I don't feel like I need to say much about this one that isn't already on display on the poster. If you like heavy handed 70s racism (don't worry, that guy gets his comeuppance), two-headed gorillas, and flimsy science, then this one has it all. If you're looking for Oscar worthy performances and positive portrayals of two-headed gorillas, well then maybe you should skip this week.

For the rest of you, if you enjoy those big 'Awesome' works that are the fad these days, then this one is a must see. Grab a brewski, some buds, and get ready for the ride of your life. Don't believe me quite yet? Check the trailer:



You know it'll be awesome when the trailer starts with the phrase "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

Weekend Matinee: THE ROCKETEER

It's Saturday Afternoon and if you're anything like me, you're feeling super patriotic today. At least in the sense that you could enjoy some old fashioned Nazi bashing. If so, then do I got the movie for you: THE ROCKETEER!



I find myself talking about this early 90s almost-gem a lot in these recent months. The refrain is always the same: I'm excited about Captain America because Joe Johnston did The Rocketeer. It's a fabulous, high flying, action adventure with only one fatal flaw: the male lead, Billy Campbell.

With it's crazy talented cast, The Rocketeer becomes a textbook example of the importance of a strong leading man. It's not that Campbell doesn't look like a leading man it's just, much like Orlando Bloom, he lacks the charisma to carry a movie by himself. It's such a hard thing to pin down, really, all I know is that poor Billy Campbell doesn't seem to have it.

Assuming you don't mind the lack of a strong lead, or can just roll with it, the rest of it is just plain fun. I mean, come on, it's got a guy in a jet pack fighting mobsters and undercover nazis! And the last scene takes place on a blimp! There's so much cool shit in this movie, I almost guaruntee you'll be cursing out the tepid performance of ol' Billy just as much as I am when the credits start to roll.

It's also, as I mentioned before, a nice taste of what I hope Joe Johnston's Captain America will be: Sweeping action, unquestionable grandeur, with scenes that are destined to become classic in a Spielberg-lite kind of way. And this time with the strong lead that The Rocketeer so desperately needed.

This week's clip gives you a little sample of all of that, and will totally whet your appetite for more. Enjoy!

Weekend Matinee: TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE

It's Saturday afternoon and if you're anything like me you've just realized that I've been doing Weekend Matinee's for a year now. Crazy, right? So I decided, that since today is a special day, it deserves a special movie. Get ready for one of the greatest movies of all time, and my personal favorite, TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE!



What? You didn't think I would showcase that Michael Bay shit, did you?

I can't tell you how much I love this movie. While I have an undying love to things like Star Wars, Transformers here was one of those defining movies of my childhood. The music, the characters, the iconic moments, all stuck with me from when I first saw it in the theater and will stay with me until I'm old and gray arguing with my kids about the untapped potential of Hot Rod.

Luckily for you, if you haven't seen it, it's pretty readily available on DVD (or BluRay, if you're one of those) which is a nice change from how it was prior to this latest geek explosion. There was a time, not so long ago, that it was impossible to find. From 1988 through 2001, the movie was no where to be found and seemed like it would be lost to the sands of time forever.

Then, in the summer of 2001, during my then yearly excursions to SDCC, I found a brand new copy of it, shrinkwrapped and from Canada, for thirty bucks. Without hesitation, I threw down my cash and made the greatest purchase of my life (up until that point). Sure, I found it for cheaper later in the con, but I didn't care because now I had my grail.

That summer, my roommate and I watched that movie on a daily basis. We'd throw it on just to watch Optimus Prime's and Megatron's final battle only to get sucked into Hot Rod's journey to greatness. We fell in love with the rocking Stan Bush soundtrack all over again, prompting a new quest to own it on CD (quest accomplished). It somehow was everything we remembered it to be and more; it was the greatest movie ever.

In case you're still not a believer, check that aforementioned battle and try not to get goosebumps. It's the kind of awesome that Michael Bay wishes he could accomplish.



Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a classic to go watch.

Weekend Matinee: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS

It's Saturday Afternoon and if you're anything like me you're looking for something to wash that horrible April Fools Day taste out of your mouth. Lucky for us, I have just the thing: Fred Decker's 1986 classic NIGHT OF THE CREEPS!



From the opening sequence of tiny aliens rushing through their giant industrial ship, to the final fiery showdown, this movie has a little bit of something for everyone. The basic plot follows your typical college freshmen as he and his buddy accidentally unleash an epidemic of space slugs that turn the population into murderous zombies. You know, standard 80s insanity.

"This sounds familiar..." I hear you saying (By the way, you really shouldn't talk to your computer like that, it makes you seem like a crazy person), and you're right. This movie was the inspiration to 2006's Slither, which also followed the plight of world dominating space slugs. Rest assured, the similarities end there. My suggestion would be to see these two movies as a double feature and forgo any other responsibilities that you might have this weekend.

If you're still not sold, then strap in for this weeks clip because it's got a little bit of everything: Zombies, slugs, flamethrowers, Rusty Grissom, a badass Tom Atkins and a slew of cute girls. Really, I don't know if you need anything else.



THRILL ME!

Weekend Matinee: SAMURAI COP

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're looking for something to cap off this amazing awesome week. To my mind, there's nothing more appropriate at a time like this than to bring out the big guns. I present to you the 1989 Amir Shervan classic, SAMURAI COP.



This is one of those fantastic examples of how great a bad movie can be. The direction is just sloppy enough, the acting wooden, and the pacing just slow enough to be hilarious without being too annoying. Toss in an starring role from Robert "The Chin" Z'Dar, a porn star and a body count that rivals Commando, and you got yourself a regular forgotten classic. Add in a few beers and this one's a party ready to happen.

The story follows Matt Hannan's (a former Stallone bodyguard, BTW) Joe Marshall a San Diego cop, trained in the martial arts, who was brought to Los Angeles to help deal with the rampant Asian Gang problem. The movie picks up as he's been on the job for about a week and all he has to show for his effort is casual sex with the hot, and VERY slutty, helicopter pilot. Helping Joe with his quest is quite possibly my favorite sidekick in any action movie ever: Frank Washington.



Every cutaway to this guy is pure gold. He's the Nic Cage of this movie, with his cavalier attitude and lame one liners. I can't decide if the actor understood that he was in a bad movie and didn't care or if he was really trying to be the sassy black sidekick that everyone would love. Either way, it's something to behold and I dare you not to love every scene he's in.

For this week's clip, I was trying to find something that really distilled the essence of how awesomely bad Samurai Cop is. While clips of the big action scenes are pretty fun, I opted instead to give you a taste of the caliber of acting herein with this iconic showdown.

Enjoy!



Now, this one is a bit hard to find, but if you look hard enough, I'm sure you'll be able to find it somewhere on the webs.

Weekend Matinee: THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're still nursing that hangover from Saint Patty's Day and that Harry Potter marathon on ABC Family just ain't cutting it. Well, you're in luck because I got just the thing: the 1990 Andrew Dice Clay classic THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE!



Remember last week how I was all bummed that Drop Zone wasn't as insane as Deadfall? It seems that the movie gods were listening when they bestowed me with this Renny Harlin neo-noir opus. With a shaky lead, tons of voice over, and an overall goofiness, Ford Fairlane was the perfect movie to get me out of my Nic Cage funk.

Andrew Dice Clay plays the title character, a Rock and Roll detective, searching for some random girl who had a sexual tryst with Priscilla Presley and Gilbert Gottfried. Yeah, it's kind of... unexpected. Then some bullshit happens involving Wayne Newton (as an evil record exec), Freddy Krueger (as an evil henchman), and that kid from Blind Fury (as a tiny Andrew Dice Clay). Plus, it features of a scene of The Diceman watching TV with a koala.




What it has in pure convoluted storytelling, Ford Fairlane makes up for in pure insanity. It's the perfect followup to Deadfall if you're looking for an appropriate way to come down off that high.

In case that picture didn't totally sell you on it, this week's clip should leave no question in your mind about the merits of this movie. Without further ado, here's my favorite Ed O'Neil scene, featuring his never released hit song: Booty Time. Enjoy!

Weekend Matinee: DROP ZONE

It's Saturday Afternoon and if you're anything like me, you need something to watch while you nurse that aching back that's keeping you from doing all that cleaning (sorry FutureWife!). Well then, I got just the thing for you: The 1994 Wesley Snipes skydiving classic DROP ZONE!



Package this with Point Break and Terminal Velocity and you got yourself a party. Well, you know, except for the fact that no one would show up for it.

Under the direction of John Badham (not to be confused with Hal Needham), Snipes plays a US Marshall who's tasked with taking a criminal computer hacker to a safe house. But, because this is an action movie, the plane gets overtaken by terrorists (led by Gary Busey, of course) who steal the hacker, blow a hole in the plane, and skydive away while killing Theo Huxtable. Distraught over the loss of this 80s icon, and met with disbelief from his superiors that anyone could jump out of a 747, Snipes opts to work outside of the law to bring the terrorists to justice. You know, typical action movie stuff.

From there the movie becomes almost a superficial copy of Point Break, as Snipes tries to learn the ins and outs of skydiving so he can jump in some competition or something. Honestly, I was only half watching this one so I'm not really sure. All I know is that Snipes wears the most ridiculous looking pants throughout, rides a silly looking motorcycle, and somehow can't land the girl even though she's played by Yancy Butler.

Much like most of Snipes' movies, this one is fun but lacks the total insanity of most of the top tier action stars stuff. He has a few great lines, a couple of great stunts, but in the end it's no Commando or Cobra. But really, what is?

Sorry it's not the ringing endorsement that these normally are, but ever since Deadzone everything just seems a bit less insane. Here, check out this compilation of the best of Drop Zone and make up your own mind.

Weekend Matinee: DEADFALL

It's Saturday Afternoon and if you're anything like me, you're desperately looking for something to fill that Nic Cage shaped hole in your heart. You're in luck then, because this week I have what is quite possibly the greatest Nic Cage movie ever: DEADFALL



And by 'greatest', I mean 'most bat-shit insane'

Straight up, this movie is a trip and a half. Directed by Christopher 'I now make wine for a living' Coppola and starring way too many well known actors (Michael Biehn, James Coburn, Charlie Sheen, and the aforementioned Nic Cage), it's that perfect blend of insanity, incoherence, and incompetence that make bad movies fun to watch. Honestly, it feels like a student film that someone got big names and a distribution deal for (I wonder how that happened...).

At it's heart, once you dig past all that flab, Deadfall is a throwback noir set in the early 90s. Kyle Reese is a con man, out looking to start a new life with his uncle after he accidentally shot his father in the chest. Fun filled craziness ensues.

The middle of the movie is where things really shine, when the whole thing becomes a showcase for Nic Cage and his antics. And while I was upset when he died around the hour mark (SPOILERS!), the movie did it's best to fill the void with a wanna-be Bond villain pawn broker, and Charlie Sheen as a tiger blood infused Pool Shark (or maybe a Pool Tiger...)



Finding a clip that accurately encapsulates what this movie is about is tough, especially when you don't want to ruin all the fun stuff. So, after lots of deep thought and hours of searching, I've decided on this: THE GREATEST NIC CAGE FLIP OUT EVER CAUGHT ON FILM!



Check it out on the Netflix streaming RIGHT NOW!

Hi-FUCKING-YAAAA! Indeed.

Weekend Matinee: ALL STAR SUPERMAN

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're looking for something to watch while the woman goes out shopping in the rain (Silly FutureWife). My friend, I have just the thing for you that is both relevant to the week and entertaining to boot: ALL STAR SUPERMAN



I felt that it was appropriate in a week that we lost a comic great, to check out his latest (possibly last, you can never tell with animation) feature. And it's a doozy.

If you've read Morrison and Quietly's All Star Superman, then you pretty much know everything about this movie, as this is a by the book adaptation. Of course, some things had to be cut, but honestly it doesn't make a difference. While I would have liked some more Quinten Quantum, Jimmy Olsen adventures, or just a taste of the Bizzaro stuff, I'm kinda glad it wasn't in there. While I love the series, I can't shake the feeling that in the middle of the series it meandered a bit. What's important about the movie though, is that it hits all the appropriate story notes.

If you like Superman in his high flying-est, you'll love this movie. If you love those crazy, zany Silver-Age-Through-the-Grant-Morrison-lens antics, you'll love this movie. If you just love a straight up, honest to goodness, fun Superman story, you'll... Just go see it already.

Like most of DC's Animated fare, they really knocked this one outta the park. I could nitpick things, but on a whole it's totally worth the time and 100% awesome. What a fantastic ending note on the amazing, but far too short, career of Dwayne McDuffie. Here's the trailer.

Weekend Matinee: CLOAK AND DAGGER

It's Saturday afternoon and if you're anything like me, you need something to keep you busy inside while you avoid all the nasty weather outside. Luckily I have just the thing: CLOAK AND DAGGER.



This is one of those movies that I watched all the time when we I was kid, but that has seemed to drift away as the years went by. Even though I haven't seen it in forever, it was still incredibly familiar, if not just a tad bit creepy on a rewatch.

Okay, so ostensibly the movie is about a young boy who topples some kind of secret terrorist plot with the help of his imaginary best friend, superspy Jack Flack. It's the stuff that all great kid movies are made of, except that this one doesn't have that fun adventure feel to it. Like, to the point that I'm pretty convinced the kid has a psychotic mental breakdown near the end of the movie.

See, the thing is, it's revealed early on that Jack Flack is a representation of what he wants his Dad to be: Strong, smart, and generally heroic. It's also revealed that the kid just recently lost his mother, and it was soon after this traumatic event that ol' Jack started 'showing up'. Clearly this kid is using Jack as a way to deal with his disappointment in his father and the loss of his mother. And then things get weird.

So, while in a stairwell conversing with his invisible father figure, this kid witnesses a murder and is quickly drawn into a complex web of general espionage. Except that every attempt on this kid's life or weird proceeding is only witnessed by him, and as soon as other people show up is quickly debunked. I think this kid was mentally deranged and needed serious psychiatric/drug help.

For those of you that remember this one, you might be thinking that this doesn't hold up because by the start of the third act other people start getting involved and there's a huge, can't-ignore-this-as-fake showdown at an airport. Except all this happens after probably the most traumatic, scarring thing that could happen to this poor kid: His imaginary dad convinces him to kill a dude.

Seriously, check it out:



I don't know what to believe in that scene. Is that dude really threatening the kid with a gun? Is that kid just talking to himself? Is he doing both voices? Is that why that dude is so confused? Did that dude somehow see Jack Flack?

If you ask me, in that moment that the kid drops the gun, the stress of knowing that he took a life shattered his psyche and turned him into an unsalvageable vegetable. Or at least, that's how I'd like to read this movie.

Check it out, and let me know what you think. Happy viewing!

Weekend Matinee: MEGAFORCE

It's Saturday afternoon and if you're anything like me you need something to wash the horrible girlie-ness of this pre-Valentine's Day weekend out of your brain. Lucky for you, I have just the thing. Say hello to MEGAFORCE.



Where to start with this gem? Directed by Hal "I normally work with Burt Reynolds" Needham, Megaforce follows Ace Hunter and his band of international peacekeepers as they try to thwart an evil dictator. Or something, I kinda lost it there in the middle of the movie because IT BLEW MY EIGHT YEAR OLD BRAIN!

A suave Han Solo-like leader (played by Spin City's Barry Bostwick) and his band of off-kilter international soldiers riding around in fucking awesome themed vehicles? It's like everything the UN has ever wanted to be! More, it's exactly what I loved about GI JOE when I was a kid. Hell, this movie is a hundred times the adaptation of my favorite Hasbro toyline than that lame-ass Steven Sommers monstrosity was.

Now, there are a lot of scenes to get excited about in this one, but none so exhilarating as the clip I pulled for you today. Long story short, Barry Bostwick discovers the secret ability of his motorcycle AND IT'S THE BEST THING EVER! I don't want to spoil it too much, just... just watch it.



IT'S JUST SO GOOD! I can't stop watching it! His face! God, it's the best.

So here's the bad news about this one: It's not available on DVD. For whatever reason - which I'm too lazy to research - they've refused to release this would-be classic on any kind of modern media. There are, however, tons of bootlegs out there and while I don't condone any kind of piracy, like this here, if it's the only way to see it then... well, a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.

Right? RIGHT! MEGAFORCE!

Weekend Matinee: JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS

Because sometimes you need some counter-programming, I give you this week's movie: Josie and the Pussycats.



If you've never seen this gem, you should do yourself a favor, drop everything and watch it NOW. Between the cute girls and the rocking soundtrack, this movie has got it all! Add to that a compelling story and interesting characters, and you have a cult classic just waiting to happen.

I remember the first time I saw this one. It was the summer of 2002, my roommate and I had scammed some free premium channels (an oversight on the provider's end, I swear!) and started recording everything we could, including this oft forgotten 2001 classic. After our first viewing, we knew it was something special and we nearly wore the tape out showing it to anyone who would give us 90 minutes to do so.

We were a little obsessed.

In the intervening years, I haven't seen it as much, but I can still recite it by heart. And I have the soundtrack on a pretty constant rotation on my ipod. It's up there on my list of favorite movies, and I don't think it'll come down any time soon.

So, if you're looking for something new and awesome to watch - or you just want something that doesn't involve pigskins and jersey's - I suggest you check out Josie and the Pussycats. If you don't believe me, check out this week's clip featuring the girls' hit single from the movie. Enjoy!