Weekend Matinee: THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're still nursing that hangover from Saint Patty's Day and that Harry Potter marathon on ABC Family just ain't cutting it. Well, you're in luck because I got just the thing: the 1990 Andrew Dice Clay classic THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE!



Remember last week how I was all bummed that Drop Zone wasn't as insane as Deadfall? It seems that the movie gods were listening when they bestowed me with this Renny Harlin neo-noir opus. With a shaky lead, tons of voice over, and an overall goofiness, Ford Fairlane was the perfect movie to get me out of my Nic Cage funk.

Andrew Dice Clay plays the title character, a Rock and Roll detective, searching for some random girl who had a sexual tryst with Priscilla Presley and Gilbert Gottfried. Yeah, it's kind of... unexpected. Then some bullshit happens involving Wayne Newton (as an evil record exec), Freddy Krueger (as an evil henchman), and that kid from Blind Fury (as a tiny Andrew Dice Clay). Plus, it features of a scene of The Diceman watching TV with a koala.




What it has in pure convoluted storytelling, Ford Fairlane makes up for in pure insanity. It's the perfect followup to Deadfall if you're looking for an appropriate way to come down off that high.

In case that picture didn't totally sell you on it, this week's clip should leave no question in your mind about the merits of this movie. Without further ado, here's my favorite Ed O'Neil scene, featuring his never released hit song: Booty Time. Enjoy!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day...

And make sure your green is visible from all angles.

Kyle Rayner pulls a Hal Jordan in Green Lantern #68, courtesy of Ron Marz and Paul Pelletier.

The Bill March 16, 2011

Whoa.

I haven't a week this big in forever. Between old standbys shipping twice a month (I'm looking at'chu T-Bolts and A-Acad) and the start of this new big crossover, I felt like I was 13 again when I was leaving the store. Of course, that feeling might have been due to the plethora of 90s books I also bought, but whatever.

I read a bunch of comics, and I want to tell you what I thought about'em! Let's do it!




Getting Back In The Groove:

Avengers: The Children's Crusade - Young Avengers One-Shot (seriously?)
Writer: Allen Heinberg
Artist: Alan Davis


After months of shaky plot devices, questionable characterization, and a slower than molasses pace, I feel like I finally read an issue of Young Avengers that was written by the same guy who invented the characters. Not that the series has been totally horrible up until this point, it just wasn't as good as it could be. With this issue, I think Heinberg found his swagger again.

This issue would be more aptly titled "Iron Lad", as it's basically all back story on his surprise appearance last issue. Here, Iron Lad is about to kill Kang (AKA his older self, because you know, time travel) when a grown up collection of the Young Avengers stop him and Iron Lad zones out remembering their first adventure together. It's one of those neat examples of sliding new information into an already established continuity (also, it helps jibe the beginning of the first series with the timeline of the Marvel U proper).

Throughout the book I got exactly what I want from my Young Avengers: Some witty banter, a super villain fight, and a solid surprise at the end. It's great stuff that's helped reignite my passion for this series as a whole. Now, if only it would come out more often...



The Obligatory Review:

Book of The Skull
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Scott Eaton


In case you somehow missed it, Marvel's gearing up for another big crossover next month called 'Fear Itself'. As Marvel is wont to do, they've kicked things off with a one shot to help set the stage for the main event. And man, it's done it's job. I'm psyched.

The big thrust of this issue is just to set Sin, the Red Skull's disfigured daughter, down the path of her villainous destiny. She's looking to undo her father's greatest failure and from the rumors of what's to come, she might just succeed.

Well, you know, mores o than her father did. It's not like I think she's REALLY going to defeat the good guys.

There's not much more to say really, except that it's a solid set up issue. In the scheme of things, I liked it more than the Cabal one-shot that started off Siege, but not as much as The Illuminati one-shot that started Civil War. It belongs somewhere in the murky middle area, where I'm not sure I needed to read it to understand the coming crossover or not.

I guess we'll find out in a few weeks though...



_________________________________________

Big week or small, two books is my limit. I'm sure you don't want to hear me babble about my books, just as much as I don't want to write reviews for all of them. That said, if I'm mistaken and you DO want to hear me babble on about Hulk 30.1 just drop a comment; I'd be happy to oblige.

Til next time!

Batman: Hobo

A playful reimagining of everyone's favorite rodent themed hero, inspired by Comic Alliance, and brought to reality over at Real Soul Surfing. I wholly recommend everyone go hop over there right now to go check out the rest of the concept drawings because, man, they are amazing.

Straight up, if this were a miniseries I'd buy it in four seconds flat, and the collected hardback a year later. Yeah, that's how much I believe in Hobo Batman. Make it happen DC!

Ant Man's 90's Makeover in 3 Panels

Scott Lang's ill advised and VERY short lived costume revamp courtesy of Roy Thomas and Herb Trimpe (Wait. WHAT?!?) in Fantastic Four Unlimited #8.

Weekend Matinee: DROP ZONE

It's Saturday Afternoon and if you're anything like me, you need something to watch while you nurse that aching back that's keeping you from doing all that cleaning (sorry FutureWife!). Well then, I got just the thing for you: The 1994 Wesley Snipes skydiving classic DROP ZONE!



Package this with Point Break and Terminal Velocity and you got yourself a party. Well, you know, except for the fact that no one would show up for it.

Under the direction of John Badham (not to be confused with Hal Needham), Snipes plays a US Marshall who's tasked with taking a criminal computer hacker to a safe house. But, because this is an action movie, the plane gets overtaken by terrorists (led by Gary Busey, of course) who steal the hacker, blow a hole in the plane, and skydive away while killing Theo Huxtable. Distraught over the loss of this 80s icon, and met with disbelief from his superiors that anyone could jump out of a 747, Snipes opts to work outside of the law to bring the terrorists to justice. You know, typical action movie stuff.

From there the movie becomes almost a superficial copy of Point Break, as Snipes tries to learn the ins and outs of skydiving so he can jump in some competition or something. Honestly, I was only half watching this one so I'm not really sure. All I know is that Snipes wears the most ridiculous looking pants throughout, rides a silly looking motorcycle, and somehow can't land the girl even though she's played by Yancy Butler.

Much like most of Snipes' movies, this one is fun but lacks the total insanity of most of the top tier action stars stuff. He has a few great lines, a couple of great stunts, but in the end it's no Commando or Cobra. But really, what is?

Sorry it's not the ringing endorsement that these normally are, but ever since Deadzone everything just seems a bit less insane. Here, check out this compilation of the best of Drop Zone and make up your own mind.

That Campbell/Loeb Spidey Project is Still Happening? Seriously?

Today at his Talk to the Hat feature over at CBR, Tom Brevroot confirmed that indeed the mythical J. Scott Campbell/Jeph Loeb Spider-Man series is still happening. He even showed some art, inferring that Campbell is still working on the second issue of the series.



What's that? You don't remember hearing about this one? You don't remember the May 2006 announcement that this duo was going to be teaming up and giving the fans a top-notch Spider-Man project? I think J. Scott Campbell forgot too, so don't feel too bad.

Honestly, what does it take to cancel the book and call it a wash? I know Campbell's slow, but DAMN SON that is SSSSLLOOOOWWWWW. At this rate, we should see this book sometime in the winter of 2016... when it's released on a quarterly schedule.

Also, I guess I should give up my dream of ever seeing Wildsiderz getting completed...

The Bill March 9, 2011

My pull list seemed like something straight out of the 90s this week. I got one featuring everyone's favorite lethal protector, another with the pinnacle of 90s X-Men excess (or should I say, X-cess... sigh. No. No I shouldn't. Sorry), and finally a heavy dose of a brooding purple bowsman. Thank god I didn't get that Deathlok Weapon X trade, I might have fainted from all the radical-ness.

Regardless, seeing as how I'm conscious on a Wednesday night, let's check out what I thought of a few of these in this week's I-swear-it's-going-to-be-renamed-at-some-point The Bill.




Why Aren't You Better?:

Onslaught Unleashed # 2
Writer: Sean Mckeever
Artist: Filipe Andrade


I really really want to like this book, but there's just something about it that's not clicking. It could be the weird, spindly art of Filipe Andrade, but I much prefer it's fluid action-y flavor to the more standard fare by David Baldeon. It might be the characters, but I honestly love the vast majority of the major players. In all honesty though, it might just be a converange of uninteresting and otherwise convoluted ideas that are crammed within it's pages.

To say I was less than interested in the mcguffin that got all the heroes to this secluded location is putting it mildly at best. The story of Toro, his history as a child assassin and subsequent drug testing, doesn't light any fires for me. And it doesn't really help that his story feels incredibly tacked on to this larger, and mildly more interesting, story of Onslaught. I really enjoy McKeever as a writer most of the time, but this is one story of his I can't wait for him to get out of his system.

Meanwhile, there's this whole Onslaught thing that I'm not sure how to feel about. On the one hand, the nostalgic part of me is happy to see him getting a decent, non-Liefeld push. On the other, I can't help but think that he's totally unnecessary and utterly uninteresting. It's two issues in and the only thing I can glean about his master plan is that it involves ruling the world via the help of young South American boys.

More, I worry that they're going to ruin an already very fragile character in Rikki Barnes. I was fairly skeptical when they announced her first miniseries, but since then I've really become a fan. That said, I like her the best when they just kind of ignore her awfully confusing and overly involved origin. Anytime I have to have to take a deep breath and start with a "well, first of all...", I know in my heart that it's a character that won't be for anyone. I worry that they're making Rikki all murky continuity, and not the great complex character she truly is.

If this were any other book I'd totally drop it, but seeing as how it's A- written by Sean McKeever, B- stars Gravity, and C- is a four issue mini-series, I guess I'll stick around.

Here's hoping things get more interesting next issue.




Better Than It Has Any Right To Be:

Venom # 1
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Tony Moore


Back when this book was first announced, I shrugged it off as nothing. Just another attempt to make Venom interesting while reverting to the status quo (for the record, I really liked Mac Gargan as Venom, but whatevs) I told myself. And then I saw the creative team; the very same that was behind my beloved FrankenCastle. This book quickly became an instant buy.

And boy, am I glad I picked it up.

There's something about the Remender/Moore team up that seems to bring out the best in each of them. They're like a real life Power Man and Iron Fist; you know, perfectly complimentary to the other's style and able to push the other's talent to the limit. In case you couldn't tell, I liked Venom a lot.

Changing the character from a villain with a moral compass (or just a criminal out of his element as it was with Gargan) to a black-ops government operative is a fantastically fresh take on this long in the tooth (or tongue! Am I right? ...sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me tonight) somewhat stale character. I'm totally digging the idea of Flash Thompson doing his best Spider-Man impression (which I totally called, by the by) while having control issues with his 'other'.

In addition to this new (and hopefully not short-lived) take on everyone's favorite symbiote, they also do a number on Jack O'Lantern and made him interesting for the first time ever. Between this and the kind of awesome Hobgoblin revamp, these second string, Green Goblin wanna-bes are really coming into their own this year. I'm incredibly intrigued by this new Halloween-themed Jack and can't wait to see him and his broom glider again in the near future. Quality stuff that I really hopes sticks around.

In any case, I'm really stoked about this book. I don't know where it's going, what to expect, or even how long it'll last; all I know is that if they keep up this level of fun and energy, I'll be there for the whole thing.

Unless, you know, it gets REALLY shitty. Like REEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYYY shitty. And I'm sure it won't.




Wow. I sure was in a reviewing mood tonight, huh? Well, I'm gonna call it a night right here, but if you want to hear me rant about Hawkeye Blindspot, or call me out for not buying that new Skullkickers trade, please drop me a comment and I'll try to abide. Till next time...

The Epic Showdown: Galactus v. Charlie Sheen

This now concludes Platypus Robot's internet-mandated Charlie Sheen post. Have a good rest of your day.

Also: Tiger Blood.

Done.

Lazily stolen from Bleeding Cool.

Weekend Matinee: DEADFALL

It's Saturday Afternoon and if you're anything like me, you're desperately looking for something to fill that Nic Cage shaped hole in your heart. You're in luck then, because this week I have what is quite possibly the greatest Nic Cage movie ever: DEADFALL



And by 'greatest', I mean 'most bat-shit insane'

Straight up, this movie is a trip and a half. Directed by Christopher 'I now make wine for a living' Coppola and starring way too many well known actors (Michael Biehn, James Coburn, Charlie Sheen, and the aforementioned Nic Cage), it's that perfect blend of insanity, incoherence, and incompetence that make bad movies fun to watch. Honestly, it feels like a student film that someone got big names and a distribution deal for (I wonder how that happened...).

At it's heart, once you dig past all that flab, Deadfall is a throwback noir set in the early 90s. Kyle Reese is a con man, out looking to start a new life with his uncle after he accidentally shot his father in the chest. Fun filled craziness ensues.

The middle of the movie is where things really shine, when the whole thing becomes a showcase for Nic Cage and his antics. And while I was upset when he died around the hour mark (SPOILERS!), the movie did it's best to fill the void with a wanna-be Bond villain pawn broker, and Charlie Sheen as a tiger blood infused Pool Shark (or maybe a Pool Tiger...)



Finding a clip that accurately encapsulates what this movie is about is tough, especially when you don't want to ruin all the fun stuff. So, after lots of deep thought and hours of searching, I've decided on this: THE GREATEST NIC CAGE FLIP OUT EVER CAUGHT ON FILM!



Check it out on the Netflix streaming RIGHT NOW!

Hi-FUCKING-YAAAA! Indeed.