The Bill May 4, 2011

This week's haul was so huge, I haven't even gotten a chance to finish them all yet! But I wouldn't let something as trivial as that keep me from writing a review or two for you fine folks. Let's see what I did get around to reading...




A Fresh and New Number One:

Gladstone's School for World Conquerors # 1
Writer: Mark A. Smith
Artist: Armand Villavert



If there's one cliche in comics that will never get old with me it's the comically, over-villainous uh... SuperVillain. As I'm sure you can tell, this one was clearly written just for me. And I couldn't be happier about it.

From the fun history lesson explaining the hysterically tragic beginnings of the school, to the big schoolyard fight, this book was firing on all cylinders. The writing was deft and quippy, while the art was fun and full of energy, resulting in the perfect indie balance to my current favorite corporate book, Avengers Academy. Add in the intriguing twist at the end, and you have a series that officially holds my interests.

Also, while we're on the subject of Image Comics (even just tangentially so), can I just say how remarkable all their recent number ones have been? Between this, Jake Ellis, and Morning Glories, not to mention Skullkickers, Blue Estate (apparently), and Nonplayer (which I still can't find), it seems as though Image is going through a bit of a renaissance. Kudos to them for putting out so many fantastic and vastly different titles.

But I digress...



So Good It Hurts:


Moon Knight # 1
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev



On the flip side of things, we have this most recent reboot of Marvel's answer to Gotham's dark defender. And it's... meh.

Actually, let me clarify that: It's an interesting take on the character, but the twist has been spoiled for months resulting in this reader not really caring about the first issue. Had Bendis not been so excited to talk about this crazy new take on Moonie, it probably would have been a decent first issue. Instead, I find that it all builds to a reveal that I already knew was coming. I might as well just come in with issue two.

Reveals aside, Moon Knight suffers from a little overexposure. If this was the first Moon Knight series I had seen in five to ten years, it'd be great. However, in the context of it being yet another issue one in a series of failed restarts, and a constant presence on the newsstand since 2005, I find myself bored with it being more of the same.

I think I'm gonna skip on this series. Lemme know if he starts fighting werewolves again because that's a character reboot that I wanna see.




And that's all I really had time to read. Well, not REALLY, but pretty much. Give me a day or so and I can yammer on about Herc or Avengers Academy for you if you so desire. Or I guess we could talk about Fear Itself, but I don't really know if y'all are into that...

Until then, May the Fourth be with you. (I just had to do it!)

Worst Babysitter EVER.

At least I'd know the kids wouldn't get shot. Oh... wait.

For the record: this is the most inaccurate cover ever. I desperately want to read the story depicted on this cover. What do I get instead? A lame ass child kidnapping/selling story in which Frank Castle struggles to beat up what appears to be a mid-40s Puerto Rican woman. Sigh. I guess I'll have to stick with Nomad for all my vigilante baby stories...

Weekend Matinee: THE THING WITH TWO HEADS

It's Sunday afternoon, and if you're anything like me, you're thinking "Hey, isn't this normally a Saturday thing?" Well, yes it should be, but a combination of work, the PSN network being down, and general life distractions have kept me from it. Have no fear though, because today we're back with a sure-fire classic that will make your Sunday the greatest Funday ever! Say hello to the 1972 classic: THE THING THAT HAD TWO HEADS!



Really, when you get right down to it, there's nothing finer than a two headed, half-racist convict on a dirtbike to chase away any blues you might have.

I don't feel like I need to say much about this one that isn't already on display on the poster. If you like heavy handed 70s racism (don't worry, that guy gets his comeuppance), two-headed gorillas, and flimsy science, then this one has it all. If you're looking for Oscar worthy performances and positive portrayals of two-headed gorillas, well then maybe you should skip this week.

For the rest of you, if you enjoy those big 'Awesome' works that are the fad these days, then this one is a must see. Grab a brewski, some buds, and get ready for the ride of your life. Don't believe me quite yet? Check the trailer:



You know it'll be awesome when the trailer starts with the phrase "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

How I Learned To Not Be A Troll and Love Peter David.

"PAD sux."

Honest to God, that was my first post on the internet ever. Yes, I was that ornery 15-year old on your favorite newsgroup, trolling before trolling was trolling. And boy, did I get chewed out for it. Never again have I intentionally misspelled (unless it's for effect), not defended a position, or just flat out ignored punctuation since. I learned that lesson very quickly, but the PAD thing took a while longer.



PAD, Peter A. David for you n00bs, has been a prominent comic writer and fan-favorite for years. He's done highly regarded runs on The Incredible Hulk, Spider-Man, X-Factor (the 90s version), and X-Factor (the current version), while also tackling few novels in between. The man's a writing machine. But even with all the universal praise, to my 15-year old brain the man straight up sucked.

At the time, I didn't understand his witty banter, excellent puns, or exceedingly clever takes on any given character, all I knew is the man didn't want to play ball when it came to crossovers. Something that, as a young fanboy, I just couldn't comprehend.

From the rumors I hear, the beginning of his immense distaste for crossovers came from the end of his first run on X-Factor. It was during X-Cutioner's Song (my first big X-Crossover, by the by) that he was forced to write an issue that featured no members of the book, and instead focused on Wolverine, Cable, and Bishop.



It wasn't a terrible issue (well, all things considered), but it did kind of derail his own plots for the book. At the time I wasn't really aware it was a problem (Oh, those crazy pre-internet days...) and presently I'm aware how much that would suck, it was that time inbetween that really festered the hate in me. The thing I really couldn't get over: he dissed Onslaught.



Yeah, yeah, Onslaught's a joke now, but to my mid-90s, crazy X-Fan brain Onslaught was the culmination of years of storytelling. It was the definition of an epic - one that would have consequences that would really last, not just for the X-Universe, but the Marvel U at large - and demanded the be reflected in all of Marvel's books. To put it simply, PAD did not share my enthusiasm for the concept of an evil Professor X and his quest to take over the world.

His problem, from what I remember, was The Hulk's involvement in the fracas. For whatever reason, the higher-ups decided that The Hulk should not only be involved, but that he should be one of Onslaught's henchmen AND would ultimately be split into a monster half and a human half (with the human escaping into the... you know what, let's just leave it splitting). Needless to say, this is a huge change in the character and would severely derail any long term story lines that were already in place. So, as those who are slighted tend to do, PAD was quoted somewhere (probably in Wizard) voicing his dismay in how everything went down.




"How dare he not want to play ball with these large, universe-changing events!" I shouted to no one (I didn't have a lot of friends who read comics). "The Marvel Universe is shared, if something happens in one book, it should be reflected in another," I continued, "He needs to check his ego at the door and start doing what's good for the Marvel Universe as a whole!" Of course, without a physical outlet for this impotent adolescent rage, I took to the internet newsgroups and boiled down my grievance into two words: PAD sux.

Oh, how I was wrong.

After putting the habit down for a few years and returning, I discovered how much fun PAD's work can be. Sure, sometimes it can get a little overly cutesy and punny - like in the mostly fantastic Captain Marvel series from 2001 - but for the most part his stuff is insightful, funny, and overall just swell. I may not actively read any of his books anymore - even though his X-Factor is pretty damn amazing, not to mention the phenomenal stuff he's been doing with the Multiple Man - I've realized, in my maturing years, how refreshing his work can be.

And I wanted you all to know that.

It was a mistake that's been haunting me for years and I needed to set the record straight. To that point, I would like to formally revoke my first internet post and declare that PAD does indeed not 'sux'.

Phew. I feel better already.

Iceman and Beast: Yukon Ho!

That was the best Calvin and Hobbes pun title I could come up with. It was either that or "Attack of the Deranged Mutant Goons", and I didn't think that really fit with anything.

Anywho, I found this while perusing Comics Should Be Good over at CBR and thought it was too good to not get reposted. I hopes you digs it as much as I do.

PS. Also go check out more of Caanan Grall's other phenomenal stuff at his webcomic Occassional Comics Disorder. You won't be disappointed.

The Bill April 27, 2011

Small weeks mean small preambles. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?




The Obligatory Review:

The Mighty Thor # 1
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Oliver Coipel

Maybe it was the run up to the new movie, the positive buzz on Matt Fraction, or even the fact that Galactus was promised an appearance in this first issue; whatever it was, I was totally intrigued by this issue. "This one will be different," I thought, "Thor, the way he was meant to be."

It was exactly what I thought it would be, and I can't say that I really liked it.

Thor is a tough sell for me. He lives in a world that's completely separate from mine, speaks in a faux-shakespearean dialect, and just generally leads a life that is such the opposite of mine. Except for the slaying troll part though, because that's totally my Tuesday night.

So this issue - in which Thor dives down the shaft of the world tree Yggdrasil (which, I believe, is the sound I make when I gargle) to find it's seed, fights giant light scarabs, and has implied sex with a feisty yet respectable Lady Sif, all while Galactus speeds towards the Earth - had some awesome things in it, but was ultimately dragged down by the fact it was a Thor book.

Come back when you're more like Thor: The Mighty Avenger.



More Please:

Venom # 2
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Tony Moore


This is the book that all Marvel Comics should aspire to: big fun action with a healthy injection of weapon's grade insanity.

Is it clear that I liked this issue? Because I really did. From the opening pages of a crazed Kraven the Hunter riding a dinosaur, to the thoroughly gross and totally Tony Moore character reveal at the end, this one is fast becoming my favorite book of 2011.

Also, I totally expect it to be cancelled with issue 10. Sigh. In the meantime, I suggest any of you who loved anything about FrankenCastle or find yourself strangely drawn to the new Uncanny X-Force book to make it a point to check this one out too. You don't want to miss out on this one, I promise



There you have it. It should also be noted that the FrankenCastle Ultimate Collection came out this week, and you should all buy it. Not just because I'm suddenly in the tank for Rick Remender, but because it's totally awesome. FrankenCastle forever!

Venom is a Slut Part 6

Figure it was only a matter of time before these two sluts got together. It's like a match made in Heaven. A violent, 90s Heaven.

Lionel Francis Yu knows what I'm talking about...

Behold the Mighty GALAQUATUS!

This gorgeous creature of the Seven Space Seas is brought to you by the frikkin' genius that is Steve Anderson

The Bill April 20, 2011

This week was like the polar opposite's of last week's Disappoint-a-palooza. Of all the books I bought, not one was a clunker; but then again, not one was super awesome. Am I hard to please? Maybe, but I mean well. Let's talk comics.




BENDIS!!!:
Avengers # 12
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: John Romita Jr.


Twice while reading this issue I was fully prepared to write a super nasty 'I hate Brian Bendis' type review, and then both times he flipped the script on me, leaving me totally surprised. I guess it's my fault for jumping to conclusions.

This issue was the finale of the, at times, tedious and , at other times, kind of awesome story of The Hood hunting down the Infinity Gauntlet. And it just might be the best finale that Bendis has ever written. It's taught, action-packed, and most surprising of all, totally satisfying. I was SHOCKED! By the way, that wasn't one of the moments that he tricked me with, but I guess it would qualify for a third.

Even with a great ending, I'm afraid this'll be my final Avengers issue for a while. I've been looking for an out, and a storyline that I'm not interested in, and I think I finally found it. That is, of course, assuming that the Fear Itself tie-ins are shitty and unnecessary...

Dammit. I'm gonna have to get those too, aren't I?



Rapidly Becoming A Thing:
Hulk # 32
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Gabriel Hardman


If you had told me a year ago that I would be not only buying the Red Hulk solo title, but enjoying it enough to recommend it, I would have questioned your sanity before mocking you and walking away. Oh, what a fool I was. I don't know what it is about Jeff Parker's take on this Crimson Giant, but whatever it is I want him to keep doing it.

There's something about this book that reminds me of one of those failed 90s comics I love so much. It's a funky premise (come on, it's an old man as a Hulk), set in a weird little pocket of the Marvel Universe, with a character that's a straight up rip off of an existing one. It's Thunderstrike all over again, but with a quality writer. ZINGG!!!

It's seriously all kinds of great though and - I can't believe I'm saying this - you should totally check it out. It's got big fun, lots of intrigue, and plenty of action, everything you need to make a quality comic book.



Somehow being satisfied with all my books makes me less satisfied to write reviews. Funny how that works. Anyway, see you next time!

Batman Vs. Galactus

WANT!

Discovered while trawling the interwebs for something else entirely and couldn't resist making space for it here. I don't know who drew it, but I found it at Geek Tyrant.