When Did I Become an Old Man?

The other day I was griping to the wife about how the Avengers appear in other books.  

"It's always Cap, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man all hanging out in the tower when a problem pops up," I complained, "Even though they don't really share a book together and they got better things to do than hang out with each other.  I mean, what about the Unity Squad?  Hickman's freaking opus?"  (At this point I can tell The Wife checks out of "our conversation")

Loki: Agent of Asgard # 1 - Exhibit A
(the Black Widow is there too, she's just around the corner)

It reeks of the comics falling over themselves to be more like the movies and adapt their adaptation like some kind of weird literary turducken.  And I understand that economically it behooves a comic with a readership somewhere in the 50k range try to lure in the millions upon millions that saw the movie.  Regardless, it bothers me.

But then it hit me:  I sound like the Old Time Fans I was annoyed with back when I was a new fan.

Ugh.  When did that happen?

I remember hitting up newsgroups, and later Alvaro's Comicboards, and being shocked at the reaction to the books I loved on the stands.  The general feeling on every board was that the Marvel Universe ended in 2000 when Joe Quesada took over as E-I-C.  His loose approach to continuity, decompressed story lines, and fear of basic costumed adventures really raised the ire of those fans of the big fans prior to the year 2000.  (For the record, I was one of those fans, but I was really into the new way they were telling stories at the turn of the century).

So, here we are, thirteen-ish years later and I'm suddenly the guy complaining about a bygone era when The Avengers were a consistent team from book to book.  I'm the guy telling these new whippersnappers about what the Avengers are supposed to be.

Ugh.  Past me is so disappointed in Present me.

Whatever.  Make the Avengers more consistent!  And get off my lawn!

Talking Comics with The FutureWife: Beta Ray Bill

After reading comics for a few decades, I forget sometimes what those wondrous and inventive four-color worlds are like to comic outsiders. Lucky for me, I have a geek-leaning FutureWife who likes to ask questions and, in effect, to remind me how awesome comics are. What follows is a true (enough) conversation we've had when she's asked me an innocent question about one of my books.
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"Who's that horse looking guy," The FutureWife said, looking over my shoulder while I was reading Volume One of the Walt Simonson Visionaries. She of course, was referring to this guy:



"That's Beta Ray Bill," I replied in confidence, "the Horse Thor."

"Horse Thor?"

"Well, Space Horse Thor. Technically."

"Your comics are weird," she responded about to turn back to a rerun of Stargate Atlantis.

"Actually," I said, unsatisfied with my own answer and unable to let Beta Ray go uncelebrated, "He's an alien placed in the body of a genetically-engineered, cybernetic warrior-beast from his home planet, tasked with finding a new planet for his displaced brethren."

The FutureWife had no words. She paused Stargate and turned to me.

"He found Earth on accident," I continued, "got in a huge fight with Thor and, because he had a noble goal, was able to LIFT THOR'S HAMMER!"



Nothing. You'd expect at least a gasp here.

"Which is amazing because no one else has ever been able to lift Thor's Hammer aside from the man himself. Anyway, it resulted in a big fight between Thor and Beta Ray to see who was truly worthy to wield the hammer and hold the title 'The God of Thunder'. It was awesome!"

"You're adorable," she laughed and turned back to Stargate Atlantis.

"He ended up getting his own, more badass looking hammer, STORMBREAKER," I paused for dramatic effect, "with (basically) which he fought Galactus to a standstill!"



"That's pretty amazing," the FutureWife was nonplussed.

"He's fought everywhere from deepest space to the wilds of Canada, doling out epic proportions of power, wrapped in a awesome package of violence! The guy is awesomeness embodied," I concluded, maybe getting a little riled up.

"Sounds kinda cool, dear."

"Never underestimate the power of Beta Ray Bill!"

"The Horse Thor," her attention for Stargate unbroken.

"Damn Straight!"