Worst Babysitter EVER.

At least I'd know the kids wouldn't get shot. Oh... wait.

For the record: this is the most inaccurate cover ever. I desperately want to read the story depicted on this cover. What do I get instead? A lame ass child kidnapping/selling story in which Frank Castle struggles to beat up what appears to be a mid-40s Puerto Rican woman. Sigh. I guess I'll have to stick with Nomad for all my vigilante baby stories...

The Bill April 6, 2011

Why do my big weeks inevitably correspond with my busiest Wednesdays? It don't make no sense! Regardless, I still endeavor to give you the comic reviews you desire (probably) in the timeliest manner possible. And you better damn like it!

Enough angry talk. Let's get this show on the road.




The Obligatory Review:


Fear Itself # 1
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Stuart Immonen

I wasn't excited about this book at all. I dug the creators and I'm always up for a good Marvel crossover, but for whatever reason I wasn't 'in' to the whole idea for some inexplicable reason. So you can imagine how blown away I was when this issue was utterly fantastic.

It wasn't necessarily a Bendis-level great first issue (Credit where it's due, the man does amazing first issues), but it was pretty solid in it's own right. Both Fraction and Immonen bring it here, and it shows. The inherent epicness, and the larger shared Marvel universe feel is felt throughout, and helps make this a must read crossover.

Honestly, I haven't felt this way about a crossover since Civil War. Finally it's something that resonates with me, that feels like something that could actually be happening right outside my window. You know, all the stuff that makes Marvel great.

I'm actively chomping at the bit for more, here's hoping it delivers.




Just For Me:

From the Vault: Thunderbolts
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Derec Aucoin

I don't know if you know this, but I own a complete run of the 90s Nomad series. True story, I bought it off ebay for a cool two fifty (that's cents, not dollars) and loved the vast majority of it. So, of course, I had to buy this issue if, for nothing else, then to help complete my run of Jack Monroe issues. The question is: Was it worth it?

Well, honestly, as a Jack Monroe story it's kinda tame. It's an okay story that is more about who the Thunderbolts of the 90s were than it was about who or what Jack Monroe is all about. Like most Nomad stories, it involves a lot of him traveling and reveling in interior monologue, so there is that.

In the end though, I don't know if it was all worth it. As great as it is to see Jack back in print, I was instantly reminded why he's now dead. He works much better in flashback and in the occasional nostalgia fest, other wise he should be left to the books he was in and no more. No sense contaminating anything else with his crazy.



And with that, I'm officially running on fumes. I had so much great stuff this week, feel free to ask what I thought about books at random and I'll try to give you a fulfilling answer. Until then, it looks like it's all sheets and pillows for me.

The Bill November 3, 2010

It's a sad week when one of my books gets cancelled. Let alone two. Sigh. Why must you take away the things I love so much, Marvel?

Well, least we can do is send them off right. Right? Let's do this.




Cancelled With a Chance:

Hawkeye and Mockingbird #6
Writer: Jim McCann
Artist: David Lopez


I'm beginning to think that Hawkeye just can't hold down a series. Poor guy just can't quite get over that hump to the big time. It's weird too, because he's totally awesome, or at least he should be.

Anyway, so this issue deals with the fallout of the previous five issues. Hawkeye is riddled with guilt about poking out Crossfire's eye, Mockingbird deals with her life decisions, and Dominic Fortune reveals his true origin (which is shockingly similar to The TaskMaster origin that was also revealed this week).

Lots of story happening in these pages (as usual), but alas it's for naught because this is the final issue of Hawk and Mock... for now.

It seems that the planned crossover with The Black Widow will now become it's own miniseries followed by something. They haven't quite announced what it is, but the promise is that the story here is far from finished.

And boy do I hope that they give Hawkeye another chance. McCann's really got a handle on the character and a fantastic old-school flair, it'd be a shame if this is the last we saw of his Hawkeye.

Mockingbird, on the other hand, I don't mind if she drifts back into limbo.




Cancelled Forever:

Young Allies #6
Writer: Sean Mckeever
Artist: David Baldeon


I knew this was going to happen. All of my favorites in one book? Im surprised it lasted this long.

It wasn't a perfect book, but it was getting there. It was an interesting mix of characters with some fantastic creators that just didn't get a chance to figure out what the book wanted to be.

In this issue, if it matters, we follow Angelica Jones, Firestar, as she deals with her return to superheroics. And it's a great issue, one of those that McKeever excels with, even though, in the end, it's not really a satisfying end to the series.

I think the problem with this book is that it was marketed as a team book, but rallied against the idea within its pages. It was interesting, just not what I expected. I wanted something that was more early "New Warriors" instead of "The Defenders". But that's just me.

From here it looks like the Young Allies will fall by the wayside along with The Slingers, Force Works, and all those other teams from the 90s you can't remember.

It's not all lost though. The Nomad backups will still run through Captain America, which is great. There's an upcoming crossover with the Avengers Academy and Spider-Girl, which will be a nice capper. And I'm going to guess that the new Onslaught one shot in 2011, also written by McKeever, will feature the Young Allies.

Just a hunch.

The most important question remains: What about Gravity? The poor kid is way too great to be tossed around the way he has in the Marvel U during his short heroic life. That kid needs a miniseries (at least!) written by McKeever, STAT. Make it happen, Marvel.



That's all I got for this sad edition. If you want to know about the other books I bought that aren't being cancelled this week, drop a comment and ask, or stop by my twitter feed. I think I'm going to start posting short reviews for the books that I don't give a full review to here.

Hooray for social media!

Nomad's Dirty Little Secret

Don't ask me why, but I recently came into possession of the complete series of Nomad. No, not this one, I'm talking about the one that makes you facepalm.



Yeah, that's more like it. Jack Monroe, the crazy Commie Smasher turned Captain America knockoff, turned Punisher wannabe... with a baby.

He travelled the land of the free in search of something. Was it the American Dream? Himself? A reliable babysitter? A better tailor? Whatever it was, I'm sure he never expected to find what he found in Albuquerque:



But really, when do you really expect to accidentally walk into a transvestite bar? I mean, I almost always do, but I live in LA and these folks are strange.

Anyway, this misadventure was chronicled by Fabian Nicieza and Rick Mayes in Nomad #11 and is one of my favorites of the entire run.



The issue begins like most of the run, with Jack wandering into a new town and, spoilers, stumbling onto the local transvestite community. You'd think the transvestite's would be as weirded out by a strange man with an infant in a bar, as Jack was of them, but that wasn't the case on either side. No, instead both sides get along smashingly, with Jack enjoying the scenery as the "ladies" fawned over the baby.



As it turns out, members of this exclusive transvestite club have been turning up dead and, as expected, have been killing the vibe of the town. Not one to sit on his haunches, Jack jumps at the chance to discover who the killer is. Which of course makes him kick a tranny in the face, like you do.



After following all the leads, Jack does what any insane traveling superhero would do in the situation: Dolls himself up and unleashes his inner woman.



And let me tell you, he doesn't make a very good looking woman. (I know you were surprised!)



And wouldn't you know it, he's just ugly enough that someone wants to shoot him. A quick bit of action later, the killer's revealed and gets her comeuppance. But that's not really important.

What is important is Jack discovered a bit of himself that crazy day in Alburquerque:



For me, from this issue forward, Jack Monroe always wore silk panties and because of that he's my favorite 90s badass.

You know, until I find out that Johnny Blaze wore a thong. Or Frank Castle wears brassieres...