Weekend Matinee: RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD

It's Saturday afternoon and, if you're anything like me, you're looking for something to watch this beautiful Memorial Day saturday while you're busy nursing that hangover from the night before. In that case, I have the perfect movie for you, the beautiful horribleness that is RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD.



This is the kind of bad movie that I love. Between the bad plotting, shoddy storytelling, and ridiculous scripting, this one is just begging for a full on group screening with plenty of booze and quippy one liners. It's like The Room kind of bad, and that's what makes it so awesome.

By far and away, the best thing about this movie is the kid hero (who's name escapes me, but whatever) and all of his scenes. From his first appearance where he tries to do his homework while his grandfather rambles about his boring ass life to his experiments with his homemade laser beam, the kid is pure gold. Oh yeah, did I mention that he makes a laser gun out of laserdisc player and then subsequently kills his hamster with it? Yeah. It's amazing! Totally worth the price of admission right there.

The best thing about this movie? You can watch it RIGHT NOW! FOR FREE! Youtube for the win! If you're still not convinced at how awesome this movie is, then check out the trailer. And if that doesn't do it for you, man I don't know what to do with you. If a free movie doesn't get you excited, maybe you need to reexamine your priorities in life. I'm just saying...

The Glaring Problem With The Walking Dead

AMC's The Walking Dead is a great show. Not a fantastic one, but an above average one. It's got a great feel, and overall tone, even if it needs to be paced up just a bit. As for the story, so far it takes all the right liberties with the source material, taking it's time to really hit those emotional beats.

It's a great show that, by all accounts, is only going to get better, but there's one major thing wrong with it.

They got the main character, Rick Grimes, all wrong.



I don't want to sound like some kind of angry comic nerd here, so give me a second to explain. I get that when you move to a new medium, things change.

Movie Spider-Man doesn't crack tons of jokes. Fine.
Cartoon Captain America can't fight the Nazis. I get it.
The Joker can't rape and paralyze Barbara Gordon. Sure, I guess I understand.

This is different. In AMC's The Walking Dead, they've gotten the core of Rick Grimes wrong. In the show, Rick Grimes accepts his new zombie reality, something Comic Rick only did after years of the undead.

It doesn't seem like a big thing, but stick with me here. In the book, Rick begins his journey believing that the zombies are a temporary situation. His drive to keep his family alive comes from the idea that this whole thing will blow over, which makes it all that much more heartbreaking when he realizes it's not the case.



It was watching Rick's resolve dissolve that made the book a must read. Wondering how much further he could be pushed until he broke. And then seeing what happens when you keep pushing. That's what makes The Walking Dead a must read.

The AMC show, with a Rick that instantly accepts the fact that zombies are the new way of life? It's okay, but it's not as interesting as it should be.

Weekend Matinee: HARDROCK ZOMBIES

Once I saw the trailer for Hardrock Zombies, I knew it was going to be something special. It's that perfect combination of kitch and awesomeness that can only exist in an 80s movie. If you don't believe me, just check out this trailer:



Right? If only it had motorcycles and explosions it'd be the best movie ever.

The moral this week: Old fashioned rock and roll makes everything cooler.

Weekend Matinee: DEAD HEAT

Do you like buddy cop movies?

Do you like Zombie movies?

You do? Then brother, I have the peanut butter for your chocolate, Dead Heat. This forgotten classic teamed Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo as the original odd couple, where one was playing by his own rules, while the other was DEAD!

It's full of all the crazy pseudo science and outrageous action you would expect from an 80s movie and adds... well not much really, that's pretty much all it has going for it. Just check out this clip:



This week's moral is to never go to a butcher shop when a zombie apocalypse is afoot, the results can be most fowl. HA!

And yeah, I know that would be better with a beef joke. Whatever.

Also, if you're ever in need of putting down a psychotic side of beef, just remember to pump a full round into it's chest cavity, apparently that's the best option.