The Four Oft Ignored Facts About The Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters is a pretty amazing franchise when you think about it. Who could have guessed that a kitschy comedy with a couple of SNL alums would become a multi-million dollar, international sensation for over two decades. It's nuts.

Recently, with the increasing hype over a mythical third movie, and the release of some truly terrific toys, I had myself a mini-marathon and I learned a few things. Allow me to elaborate:

1. Dana Barrett only attracts creeps.



Poor Dana, all she really wants to do is play her cello and make a comfortable living. Too bad for her every man she meets wants to drag her down. Think about the men she's been involved with:

Louis Tully - A dull, nerdy accountant with a lack of personal skills, no sense of personal space, and the stench of desperation. Given his attachment to his mother (as mentioned in GB2), he probably sees her as a replacement.
Janosz - A nerdy, foreign art curator with a different idea of personal skills, somehow less of a sense of personal space, and an almost obsessive attitude when it comes to Dana. Plus he kidnapped her baby and held Dana hostage, that's just not cool. If he had it his way, she would strictly be a homemaker and nothing more (see GB2 where he's shocked that she's working while she has a baby at home).
Andre Wallance - The fellow orchestra member who married Dana and then, after knocking her up, divorced and moved to Europe. Totally a marriage of convenience that once it became more complicated (read: Oscar was born) he split.
Peter Venkman - A womanizer that can't commit, but isn't afraid to string them along. He's content playing house and remaining ever-young, regardless of the responsibilities that pile up. He'd probably make a great roommate for Andre.

Maybe it'd just be best for Dana to go asexual and stop giving these guys chances. She might actually get to where she wants to be in life that way.

2. Egon is mentally ill.



Oh Egon, so unassuming, so aloof, and so psychotic. On the surface he might seem like your typical no nonsense scientist, but as you peel away the layers you see he has some serious issues. Most readily this is seen in GB2 (maybe he just went off his rocker after the whole Zuul fiasco?) in two separate instances.

First, while conducting experiments on human emotions, he's visited by Dana who is looking for help. After agreeing to help, she kisses him on the cheek, giving him a moment of joy. His response to this joy? Take a puppy away from a little girl so he can study her sadness. That's seriously messed up.

Later, while studying the mood slime with Ray, they present their findings to Peter. It's here that Egon admits to sleeping with, and very possibly making love to, the mood slime to see what it would do. These are not the actions of a sane man. Clearly the ghostbusters need to get him the help he needs quick before he snaps and destroys half of New York.

3. New York City is a very fickle place.



The ghostbusters rise and fall from grace was so quick, they should make sure they don't have whiplash. In the first movie after capturing one ghost, the guys are rocketed to stardom, culminating in a massive showdown with an ancient god and an one hundred foot marshmellow man in the middle of Manhattan. A feat that, while clearly in the public view, was quickly discredited as nothing more than a fancy light show that resulted in millions of dollars in property damage. Suddenly the ghostbusters were broke and the butt of every bad joke in town.

Fast forward five years later, the disgraced ghostbusters are on trial for more property damage when their attacked by ghosts (namely the Scolari Brothers), who are rapidly contained. Faster than you can say boo, the ghostbusters are the toast of the town again, ultimately saving it from an ancient evil again.

At least after that they got the key to the city, but who knows what happened after that. Chances are someone sued for damages at the museum, leaving poor Ray and Winston to resume their careers as party clowns.

4. Winston deserves a raise



While Ray, Peter, and Egon have a personal stake in the Ghostbusters franchise and the science therein, Winston just answered a classified ad. Poor guy was in desperate need for a job ("As long as there's a paycheck in it, I'll believe whatever you want") and probably had a slew of other job interviews lined up that fateful day he got a job as a ghost exterminator. Little did he know that the job would have him face off against world destroyers, send him down a river of hate slime, and put several arrests on his record. Not to mention that it destroyed any other career aspirations (I assume, given that he went on to be a party clown instead of getting a different profession).

Whatever he's being paid for this crap job, he deserves triple that for the amount of shit he has to put up with.

Remind me never to become a ghostbuster.

Minimate Overload

I've kinda gone nuts in the past few days buying minimates.

What are minimates, you ask? Why, they're just Diamond Select's biggest mini moneymaker. With two inches and fourteen points of articulation, they're systematically creating the most comprehensive multi-license toyline since Mego in the 70s. Finally I can play out my fantasies of Hannibal Lector fighting a Terminator, or pair up drinking buddies like Saul Tigh and Tony Stark. Needlessly to say, I'm all about them.

Lately, as in this past week, I've been buying a ton of these guys to add to my already burgeoning collection. From Cowboys to Ghostbusters, here's what I got and what I think of'em:

A Fistful of Dollars

I honestly never expected to buy these, but seeing them at 50% off I just couldn't resist. Besides, how could you not like a mini Clint Eastwood?

The figures are pretty snazzy with, especially John Baxter with his fancy lookin' vest and commanding mustache. Also they come with great little accessories, like a specialty molded gun with a snake on the handle and the makeshift bulletproof vest.

On the downside, some of those neat little details really hinder the figures. Marisols dress and headscarf make her a figure that can only really watch the action, but never join it, while poor Clint almost suffers the same fate with his neat looking poncho that restricts the movement of one of his arms. Not to mention poor Ramon and his rifle that will never fit in his hands... Poor Ramon, now he'll never take a man's life...

On a scale of five, I'd give them a two and a half on the barking seal scale. They're sweet little figures, but mostly just for posing on the shelf, not for getting into epic cowboy dustups.


Back to the Future 2

I don't know what took me so long to get these awesome representations of one of the greatest series ever made. Sure, they lack a bit of the likeness factor, but they make up for it by being the only game in town.

While lighter in accessories than the previous boxset, they far succeed it in posability. The clunker of the bunch is probably Doc Brown, as his trenchcoat/shirt number does leave him in the pose options, but again, he's way better than what we had before (read:nothing). My personal favorite is Marty Jr and his super girlie, yet uber-awesome, hoverboard. It makes me yearn for the day when we have shoes with power laces and Jackets that dry themselves... just six more years...

As a bonus with these guys, because of their size it's easier to find size appropriate vehicles for them, like this 1:24 scale Delorean I had lying around the house:



With all of this greatness, it pains me to only give this set a 4 barking seals out of 5, as I'm really bothered by that Doc that can't use his legs.



Ghostbusters

So there's actually two series' of these floating around out there. The first is a boxset with Peter, Egon, Dana, and Louis (as a Terror Dog), which I have yet to find and it's driving me nuts! Ahem. The second is a group of five two packs available at Toys R Us, of which I bought two: Winston from Ghostbusters 2 with a Terror Dog (no Louis or Dana inside though...) and Peter from the courtroom scene in Ghostbusters 2 with a random yellow ghost.

Now let me tell you something, those proton packs are amazing, with fantastic sculpting and a great attention to detail. I'm gonna save showing you a picture of that until I get the box set (and learn how to take a non blurry pciture, dammit!), but until then, take a look at the weirdly veiny proton beam:


...Gross...

Anyway, that's neither here nor there, these figures are pretty cool too. Winston might look a little generic, but the detail work on his costume from the name on the chest to the Ghostbusters 2 logo on the arm are pretty awesome, while Peter, for being a guy in a suit with a crazy ray gun on his back, looks pretty snazzy if not a bit dull.

The saving grace of both sets are the ghosts. The giant yellow ghost looks pretty scary (for a two inch toy) and has great posability for those rumbles with the guys, while the Terror Dog looks like it stepped off the screen, if he was stylized and blocky. They're totally great, and I really hope the series continues long enough for me to get a crazy Janosz/Vigo two pack...

When it comes down to it, I'm giving these guys a 4 outta 5 seals too, because as great as they are the guys are just a bit dull which knocks it down just a peg.



Marvel

Ah yes, my bread and butter. Surprising no one, the Marvel Minimates were what got me in the habit in the first place. This is series 25 of the long running Marvel line, with a stellar lineup of: The New Captain America, The Red Skull, the Red Hulk, Skaar: Son of Hulk, Iron Man, and an AIM Goon. And I gotta say, they're all pretty sweet.

Tight designs, lots of accessories, and a great character selection (although I'll admit that Skaar is more than a headscratcher) make this one of the best series in a while, throw in the first foray into army building and I'm happy as a clam.

Army building, you ask? Yeah, see with these Marvel waves, they always tend to have a variant figure in the mix, which normally if you want to get results in having two of the exact same figure. It finally occured to the powers that be to make that 'exact same figure' a faceless goon, so you won't mind having more than one of them. So, I purchased my first variant set and got myself another AIM goon, and then promptly found a third set (at Toys R Us for cheaper!!) and got it too. Allowing me to do things like this:



I'm so all about these figures it's stupid, they get my newly patented Seal of Awesomeness on the barking seal scale.



And there it is, my dirty little obsession. I hope you weren't too bored because I'm planning to do the same kind of round up later this month with all the fantastic looking exclusives getting released at the San Diego Comic Con this year....