The Bill October 13, 2011

I think I know what I want for Christmas.

It might be a little unorthodox, not to mention way out of season, but I don't care; it's what I need for my comic life to be complete. So what has me all riled up and excited about comics? Well if I told you here, you wouldn't want to keep reading then would you? Come on and join me as I elucidate about my favorite comic of the week....




The Book That Goes Bump in the Night:

Legion of Monsters # 1
Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Artist: Juan Doe



It's books like this that remind me why I love reading comics. Bursting with big ideas, bigger action, and great one liners, Legion of Monsters ought to be a model for how to properly execute a comic book.

I'll admit that I have a little bias here as this book involves not only some of my favorite supporting characters from the sadly missing FrankenCastle series AND one of my favorites from the greatest book of all time, NEXTWAVE! It's a match made in heaven, my kind of heaven.

The story here is pretty simple, Elsa Bloodstone is hunting a killer monster and finds herself thrust into a team up with the self-styled police force calling themselves the Legion of Monsters. If you need more than that to get you excited, you best check your pulse because you might be dead.

Handling the art chores is Juan Doe who brings nothing but energy to his work. While at times a little deformed, his characters are always vibrant, full of motion, and a joy to look at.

And if all of that didn't get you excited, guess what's coming up next issue... Motorcycles. MONSTERS ON MOTORCYCLES!! DAMMIT! I LOVE IT!

I want this to be an ongoing series. Please. I've been a good boy this year....

Weekend Matinee: MEGAFORCE

It's Saturday afternoon and if you're anything like me you need something to wash the horrible girlie-ness of this pre-Valentine's Day weekend out of your brain. Lucky for you, I have just the thing. Say hello to MEGAFORCE.



Where to start with this gem? Directed by Hal "I normally work with Burt Reynolds" Needham, Megaforce follows Ace Hunter and his band of international peacekeepers as they try to thwart an evil dictator. Or something, I kinda lost it there in the middle of the movie because IT BLEW MY EIGHT YEAR OLD BRAIN!

A suave Han Solo-like leader (played by Spin City's Barry Bostwick) and his band of off-kilter international soldiers riding around in fucking awesome themed vehicles? It's like everything the UN has ever wanted to be! More, it's exactly what I loved about GI JOE when I was a kid. Hell, this movie is a hundred times the adaptation of my favorite Hasbro toyline than that lame-ass Steven Sommers monstrosity was.

Now, there are a lot of scenes to get excited about in this one, but none so exhilarating as the clip I pulled for you today. Long story short, Barry Bostwick discovers the secret ability of his motorcycle AND IT'S THE BEST THING EVER! I don't want to spoil it too much, just... just watch it.



IT'S JUST SO GOOD! I can't stop watching it! His face! God, it's the best.

So here's the bad news about this one: It's not available on DVD. For whatever reason - which I'm too lazy to research - they've refused to release this would-be classic on any kind of modern media. There are, however, tons of bootlegs out there and while I don't condone any kind of piracy, like this here, if it's the only way to see it then... well, a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.

Right? RIGHT! MEGAFORCE!

Weekend Matinee: VIVA KNIEVEL!

If you've always wanted to see Evel Knievel kill Leslie Neilson, then brother, this is the movie for you.

Quite honestly I'm shocked that this flick isn't more talked about in the circles of bad film snobs. It's got everything: Motorcycles, heavy-handed social commentary, crazy stunts, drugs, AMERICA! What more could you want?

Viva Knievel follows the dramatic adventures of Evel Knievel as he takes his show on the road to Mexico where, between jumps, he stops a drug cartel. From the first scene where Evel heals an orphan just by being in the same room as him, till the final frame of Evel jumping over a fire pit in his suped up motorbike, this movie had me hooked with it's sincere ridiculousness.

I cannot recommend this one enough. If I were you (and I was just a few weeks ago), I'd add it to the queue ASAP, grab some friends and some booze and have a ball with this one. Bonus points if you do a double feature with Stunt Rock.

It was rough picking one clip to show you this week, with options running from the aforementioned Orphan scene, to the a fantastic anti-drug speech from the man himself. But, I thought, that would be spoiling the pleasure of seeing those scenes in context, so instead I opted for something simple: The Viva Knievel Theme.



Good luck getting that one outta your head...

Weekend Matinee: TORQUE

My Scott Pilgrim review is forthcoming, until then enjoy this scene from the under-rated and under-remembered Torque.

I know what you're thinking: Torque is a piece of shit, how could it be under-rated? Now I'm not going to pretend that Torque is some kind of classic, or redefines what makes a good racing action drama, because it isn't. However, the movie doesn't pretend to be anything it isn't. You want fun, crazy motorcycle chases and big dumb action? Then check this one out.

The epitome of what makes this movie so memorable for me is the clip I chose for this weekend. During the big third act extravaganza, while our hero is racing down the streets of LA in a suped up super-duper speedy bike, the love interest has her own showdown with the evil lady of the flick. And so, of course, they duel the only way they know how: With their motorcycles. Literally.



I dare you to not find that clip somehow enjoyable. You see, and that's how the rest of the movie is: ridiculous, but entertaining. You should totally check it out when you get a chance... after you check Scott Pilgrim, of course.

Weekend Matinee: KNIGHTRIDERS

What do you get when Ed Harris, George Romero, and Tom Savini get together to make a movie about Renaissance Faires and motorcycles? The coolest movie ever about the trials and tribulations about a king and his kingdom: KnightRiders. Just look at the movie poster and try not to be blown away:



Once I heard about this masterpiece, I knew it was destined to become a part of the Weekend Matinee tradition. Just check out this action:



The moral this week: EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH MOTORCYCES!

Now only if I could get the Southern California Renaissance Faire to listen to me...

And then there was that time that Ghost Rider fought Aliens...

...on motorcycles!

Personally I think all of Ghost Rider's villains should be on motorcycles. What do you think Johnny?



I'm sure he'll come around...

eventually.

Kudos to Ghost Rider # 33, Roger McKenzie, and Whirlin' Don Perlin for introducing the most underused aliens in the Marvel Universe