Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Real Ending to Blackest Night


A final follow-up to my Blackest Night predictions.

As I'm sure you're all aware, I made a bet with a friend of mine that Blackest Night # 7 would end with Hal becoming the White Lantern, poised to save the universe from the threat of Nekron.

I lost that bet. Stupid Sinestro.

So today the final issue of Blackest Night was released (much to the chagrin of Tom Brevroot, I'm sure) and what happens?

Sinestro totally fails attempting to save the universe, only to have this happen:

Hal becomes the head of the White Lantern Corps. SON OF A BITCH!

I'm going to have to talk that steak down to a taco dinner because that is some serious grade-A bullshit right there.

Just thought you all should know.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Conan vs. A Bear in Three Panels

How does Conan deal with huge demon bears?

By willing them out of existence.

The moral? Don't pick a fight with Conan.

But you already knew that. Right?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Weekend Matinee: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

In case you missed it, the first trailer for the Edgar Wright helmed Scott Pilgrim surfaced this week. I cannot wait to see this thing on the big screen! Behold the awesomeness:

The moral this week: Awesome can never be too awesome. When in doubt, don't be afraid to make things bigger and badder, as long as you don't sacrifice that emotional core.

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Very Special Message

And now a word from preeminent Monster Hunter and Internet Safety Guru, Elsa Bloodstone:

Don't forget kids, once it's on the internet it's there FOR-EV-UR. While it may seem like a good idea to post a picture of yourself covered in guacamole, you might not think so a few years down the road when you're trying to apply for jobs.

Not that I know from personal experience or anything...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Weekend Matinee: THe Running Man

This week's lesson comes from the under-appreciated, but totally awesome, early-Schwarzenegger flick, The Running Man.

The Lesson: People on Motorcycles don't respect steel. So whenever possible, use cheaper metals to bash their heads in, or just jam something in their spokes.

Thanks Running Man!

Monday, March 15, 2010

You're Monthly Dose of Throg

The new Pet Avengers Limited series officially kicked off this month, and with it my monthly chronicles of the sensational character find of 2009, The Mighty Throg (Or Frog Thor as he's known in some circles).

This being a first issue, I'm sure he's kicking ass and taking names. Let's see, where is he...

Oh, there he is!

I don't get it, why is he flying down like that?

Wha...??? No, this isn't how it's supposed to work! Throg kicks ass and takes names, he doesn't fail.

I... I just don't know what to say. If only someone could put my sorrow into words...

The transvesite dog took the words right out of my mouth. Throg'll be all right, right? He has to be.

Right? :(

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Weekend Matinee: Gymkata

Today's lesson comes from the 1985 Kurt Thomas showcase, Gymkata.

The Lesson: Never trust a foreign flea market. Or at least, never admit you're American while traversing one.

Thanks Gymkata!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Did Moon Knight Get An Upgrade?

Have you been reading the new Moon Knight series? If not, you oughta be because it's all kinds of entertaining. For those of you who are, have you noticed something off about our hero?

I mean, besides the tiny imaginary god that taunts him to kill.

No, no, it's more that he seems to be really on top of things. Really... aware of his surroundings.

And his dressing ritual seems a bit... involved.

Yet his suit seems very... eager to be put back on.

Is it just me or does it seem like Moon Knight got a significant tech upgrade while he was playing dead in Mexico? But from who? Who would have that kind of technology? Who else can do all those things?

Oh... Right.

So if Moon Knight is outfitted with Stark Tech (or a Mexican knockoff), what does that mean? Did he just radically upgrade his tech? Or did he do something more drastic like inject himself with Extremis?

Anyone got any bright ideas?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My New Favorite Marvel Book

What do you get when you combine one of my favorite characters, one of my guilty pleasure characters, and one of the finest creators out there? Young Allies, Marvel's newest ongoing, that's what.

Starting in June, Sean Mckeever and David Baldeon break ground on a series starring my favorite Nomad Rikki Barnes (Sorry, Jack Monroe!), Arana (bleh!), Firestar (fresh from retirement AND beating cancer!), the token new guy, and one of my personal favorite heroes, Gravity. Here's hoping the series can last more than six issues...

Pessimism aside, I can't help to wonder two things:

1- Will McKeever be able to bring Gravity back to his former glory? Here's a character that had such a promising beginning, only to see it squandered as other writers pushed the character in directions that just weren't right. Last I saw, the Wisconsin native who moved to NYC so he could be a big-time superhero was bounced around in The Initiative and ended up back in Wisconsin as a part of the GLA (or GLX or GLI, depending). I'm hoping McKeever can right poor Gravity's path to greatness.

2- With all the Avenger announcements of late, why not put this creative team on a Young Avengers book. Talk about a team that's aching for a book. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about these Young Allies, but I can't help to wonder how much more attention (and sales!) the book would get with 'Avengers' in the title.

For the record, that second point is cynicism, not pessimism. I hope you're as excited about this one as I am.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Weekend Matinee: DC CAB

I'd like to welcome you to a new feature here at Platypus Robot: The Weekend Matinee. Each week I'll showcase a lesson we can all learn from the movies of days past. Today's movie is DC Cab:

Today's Lesson: Always check the address before dramatically busting in to someone's home, because nothing's more awkward than making a great entrance, only to ruin it on the wrong people.

Thanks DC Cab!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

What if Iron Man Was Fat

Some mornings I wake up and just love the internet. I found this today over at Scans Daily:

You have no idea how much I so desperately want this to happen. Come on Marvel!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Stan Lee Fashion

As a comic blogger, I tend to peruse old comics and occasionally I come across gems that have been lost to the sands of time. For example:

If I could build a time machine, it would be so I could go back in time to buy this masterpiece. As it is, I'll just have to hope someone at Marvel remembers it and opts to reprint it.

The nerd is right, I only want to express my love for Stan. I promise I won't hurt anyone... Unless that's what it takes to get the shirt.