Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Hidden Mystery of Attack of the Clones

Every time I watch Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones, there's one thing that really bothers me. And no, it's not Obi-Wan's shitty reshoot beard (which does bother me, but in a different way).

It's also not the wooden acting and stilted dialogue. For the record, I get that Lucas was going for a more mythic story and therefore wanted to go with a that kind of language. Scenes like the one next to the fireplace might seem strange and amateurish, but if you listen to the words you can see the foreshadowing purpose of it.

Anyway, I've always been bothered by the clones. Or more specifically, the tour of the clone facility.

You see, as Lama Su takes Obi-Wan around on the nickle tour, we get a glimpse of some clones at the cafeteria, enjoying what I can only assume is some kind of seafood.

Then it's revealed that all the clones can be traced back to one source, Jango Fett. This guy:

So here's the thing: Those clones don't look like Jango. I mean, maybe a little, but you know who they really look like? Captain Typho, Senator Amidala's head of security. Check it:

Am I crazy, or is that a clone? It's something that's bothered me since I first saw the movie in 2002. Every time I see that Kamino scene, I can't not see Captain Typho as a clone. But according to the interwebs, I'm the only one who does.

So what do you think: Am I subtly racist when it comes to Maori men apart? Or is there some kind of ripe story here about how Jango stole someone else's genetic material to make clones out of?

I'm dying to hear your thoughts.


  1. Star Wars back-story plot? Possibly. Maybe. But probably not.

    There are some similarities there you're right. I can see it and I am Maori. Could be a race thing.

    BTW - both actors are Polynesian.
    Tem Morrison (Jango) is Maori and
    Jay Lagaia Typho) is isn't Maori he's Samoan.

  2. I really want it to be some kind of nutso back story, but I know in my heart that you're right, Bernie, and it's not.

    It's too bad too, because it would make Typho interesting for once.

    Also, thanks for not making me feel horribly racist and for the heads up on the actors' origins.