The Bill September 29, 2010

It's a sad day for this day marks the end of one of the greatest, most fun adventure The Punisher has ever embarked. That's right, today was the end of FrankenCastle and the world will never be the same...



Canceled Book of The Week

FrankenCastle #21
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Dan Brereton

For a series that was all kinds of giant fun, this finale was a bit of a letdown. But I don't think it was Remender's fault. In a nutshell, it felt rushed.

After coming off of the huge bloody fight with Daken last issue, Ol' Frankencastle holds up on Monster Island to recuperate. And exactly three pages into the story, we get our last glimpse of the greatest undead cyborg vigilante ever:



That's it, no more FrankenCastle. A page and "Weeks" later, Frank is healed and sporting a pretty sweet beard while he hunts monsters. While he looks good on the outside, apparently the bloodstone that healed him (that being the special stone that feeds off of revenge and vengeance) is making him kill crazy.



So Frank's support staff would do what any group of friends would do, and recruit Elsa Bloodstone to tear it out of him. A chase and philosophic conversations later, Frank looses the stone to become the man that he always was: The boring old plain jane, "I kill mobsters because they killed my family", Punisher.

Sigh.

I don't know what I really wanted from this story, but I was honestly expecting a little more FrankenCastle in it. But I get it, Remender did what he had to do because of publisher concerns, so his story was probably sped up a bit. Or more than a bit.

It makes me sad that this book never found the audience it deserved. I admit, I was on the fence about it when it started; the idea of a zombie Punisher seemed silly and not typical for the character, but that's exactly what made it great.

Why not try something new with The Punisher? Yeah this idea brings up bad memories of spirit guns, but it's infused with so much more fun that it instantly dashes those thoughts. Besides, it's not like you can't get original recipe elsewhere in the Marvel Publishing line.

Frankencastle was one of the most fun, violent, and creative books that starred Frank Castle. In my mind, there's only so many ways I can watch Frank kill a thug before it starts to get old. But watching him throw around ManThing while taking out dragons? That's something that I will never get tired of.



Farewell FrankenCastle, you were awesome while you lasted, but like all good things you had to come to an end. You will forever be my favorite take on the character and I will make sure that everyone knows it.

Until your inevitable revival, have fun beating the crap out of Angel Punisher in limbo.

Weekend Matinee: AVENGERS

No, this isn't a secret leaked clip from the new Joss Wheadon movie. Instead, it's the next best thing: A minisode from the upcoming cartoon show.

I'll tell you, the thing that I was most excited about regarding Disney's buyout of Marvel was the prospect of having all their properties under one roof. And the Avengers is the cartoon that I was hoping they would produce.

After years of piecemeal cartoon universes with hints of something larger going one, we (Marvel fans) finally have something to rival the DC Animated Universe. And really, anything that helps the world forget the 90s Avengers cartoon is a good thing in my book.

Anyway, so the clip this week is actually a minisode of the show. So in less than five minutes you can see Iron Man fight giant robots, argue with Rhodey, and take on Hydra. I can't wait for this show to premiere.

Tony Stark's Big Board of THE FUTURE!

As I mentioned yesterday, in Avengers #5 there was a huge timeline that hinted at the future of the Marvel Universe. Let's check it out one more time, shall we?



Maybe not as vague as the DC 'Future hints', but still pretty cool nonetheless.

Anyway, the way I see it, it's my duty as a blogger to address these hints and make shocking/horrible guesses as to what they pertain to. Let's do this thing, starting from the left and moving right.

Siege - I think I know what this is, and I didn't like it. Moving on.
Captain America Reborn - Which I finally read, thanks to the trade being released this week. I think this is pretty self explainatory.
What did Cap See? - Cap saw martians attacking and all kinds of dead heroes. I'm thinking it might be the Ultron War (which the future Avengers are stuck in), if it isn't some random martian attack.
Nine Worlds in Disarray - Isn't this what's going on in Thor right now? I'm pretty sure...
Heroic Age Begins - And so it did. I think it's kinda weird that Siege is before Captain America's return on the board, when it was clearly the other way around.
Three - The new Fantastic Four Storyline. My money's still on Sue leaving (read: getting dead) the team.
Hope Returns - This was Second Coming. I guess the X-Titles are set a little bit in the future.
Spider on the Horizon - This one's probably Origin of the Species. Unless it refers to Peter having a baby. Or, in an off OFF chance, to Arana becoming Spider-Girl.
Man without Fear - Shadowland. Again, it looks like this is set a bit in the future.
Throwbacks - I think this is related to the next one, and involves the return of all those dead heroes in the Chaos War. Wait... since when did the Chaos War become Blackest Night?



Chaos - I mean seriously, it's an attack of the Chaos God, not the god of death. Why are all these dead heroes being recruited to fight him. Weird. Also, this is clearly referred to here.
What is where Asgard Should be? - K'un-L'un is moving on up... Either that, or the people of Broxton, OK are in for a fight.
Five Lights - The new, and apparently dangerous, mutants that popped up after Second Coming. Again, weird that this is here in the timeline and not sooner. I knew the X-Men were kind of out of synch with the rest of the Marvel U, but this is crazy.
9.9.9 Who is worthy? - And I'm guessing of those five new mutants, only one (or half of one) will survive. I bet it's the cool one...
Master of Kung Fu - The next story arc in Secret Avengers? I really doubt that Shang Chi is going to get a push...
Nova Antiquus - The long awaited appearance of Ol'Timey Nova? Yes! Bring on the top hat and monocle!



Academy Traitor - It's totally Hazmat. Or Veil. I never did trust a girl who was all hot air. waka waka waka...
Return of the King - Dormammu is coming back in a big way. Look for him in New Avengers by the end of next year.
The Drumm of Revenge - And Brother VooDoo will be involved. I'm guessing on the bad side...
Night Falls - Looks like Night Thrasher's return will be short lived. He is coming back, right?
Iron Lad (Re)turns - The Young Avengers Vision will change "back" into Iron Lad after Tony remembers he can rebuild shit and puts the original back together.
All Hope Lies in Doom - I hear this is a line from the Fantastic Four series. I hope it involves the Basement of Doom in the Council of Reeds (as in Richards, not saxophones)



Schizm - Civil War part 2? Be still my heart. It won't be though. It'll probably be the followup to the Bogan storyline from X-Treme X-Men that everyone's been waiting for.
H:1 Stark Resiliant - Does this mean that Invincible Iron Man is waaaay out of synch with everything?
Where's Wanda - I think I know where the Young Avengers series takes place. That explains how Steve is in the Captain America costume. Poor Bucky, I hope he goes to a nice prison.
Galactus Seed - Galactus is gonna bang the planet. Either that or it's a plug for the new Galacta series that'll die on the vine.



Fear without Man - Daredevil's rebirth. Or future Tony was having an existential crisis.
Steve's Vision - Apparently whatever Steve saw in his vision was way down the line, but not the Ultron War. I guess we should plan on Martians.
Yesterday's X-Men - The return of Beak, Angel (the insect one), Thunderbird (the Indian [no, the Indian Indian, you racist!]), and Xorn. Woo!
Ultron War - Ultron returns for a reunion with his father (Hank Pym), mother (Janet Van Dyne), mother-wife (Jocasta), Son (Vision), Weird Son Clone (Iron Lad, see above), Wonder Man (for kicks), and M-11 (Because Agents of Atlas have to show up in everything). Then, after a few drinks, Hank and Ultron start to fight and Ultron decides to destroy the world. Aren't family reunions the best?



Born to Burn - The Human Torch melts through a condom and knocks up some floozy. His baby is just a ball of fire and poop.

Phew.

There you go, my totally 100% (in)accurate predictions for Marvel's future. I'm sure I'll keep you posted with "I told you so"s just in case you forget how awesome I am.

The Bill September 22, 2010

Finally, this week I had some books come out. Mind you, I couldn't find one of them, but at least the ones I did were interesting. But I'm not going to talk about them.

Nope, instead I'm gonna rag on Bendis. What can I say, I'm a man of my word.




Worst of the Week:
Avengers #5
Writer: Brian Bendis
Artist: John Romita Jr.

There are times I wonder if Bendis has ever read a Marvel comic before. I mean, I get that this situation the team is in is totally crazy, but do they all really need to act like amateurs?

It goes like this: WIth half the team in the future (we'll get to them), the other half defends New York City. Or at least their supposed to. Somehow though, they forget how to be superheroes in the face of this latest crisis. When faced with rioting mobs, giant cosmic beings, and other random facilitators of violence, the majority of them stand around with their fingers up their asses.

The Spider-Man I know would be in the thick of the riot, pulling out as many innocents as he could until he physically couldn't and even then he'd find the energy to grab more, instead of the one presented in this issue that stands around talking about how scared he is while asking the others what to do. UGH!

I was a little frustrated, to say the least.



Best of the Week:
Avengers #5
Writer: Brian Bendis
Artist: John Romita Jr.

See what I did there?

Okay, so the beginning of this issue aside, it was actually pretty good. The team in the future was presented with a twist that I genuinely didn't see coming along with a pretty cool ending.

This issue seemed like Bendis read my previous reviews and made up for that lackluster third issue by just cramming story into this one. Everything moved at a pretty impressive pace (especially for Bendis) AND shit actually happened. I was totally amazed.

That said, the best thing about this issue had to be the Rip Hunter-esque (yeah, that's right, I made a DC reference. What of it?) diagram of the future. It's really cool, check it out (click it to make it bigger!):



Right? Totes Awesome. I'm gonna digest this and post my theories on it tomorrow, hopefully before places like Robot6 do (they do such a good job on those things... jerks).

Anyway, this issue got me all hot and bothered for the next. Here's hoping Bendis keeps it up, and doesn't fumble the end as he tends to do.




There you have it, my all Bendis Bill. For the record, I also picked up Avengers Academy (totally great!) and the first two issues of the Power Man mini (surprisingly pretty cool), but failed to pick up Skullkickers (sold out). Am I missing out? Lemme know!

Wonder Man Is an Actor..

But if you're not over 18, you'd never know.

Character assassination courtesy of Steve Englehart and Al Milgrom via the vastly underrated and totally crazy West Coast Avengers #1

Weekend Matinee: POINT BLANK

This one should be more well known than it is.

In a trippy, neo-noir, almost classic, John Boorman directs Lee Marvin along a path of revenge. After being left for dead following the perfect heist, Marvin is out to settle the score against his old partner. Told in a fractured narrative, you never really know what's truly happening or what's just imaginary.

I saw this one a few weeks ago and was blown away by it's taut story and compelling visuals, even though I'm still kind of digesting what happened in it. It's great stuff, you should totally check it out.

That said, this clip is funny out of context, so enjoy Lee Marvin's remodeling methods:



I told you to change those ugly sheets...

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me Cartoon Network Was So Good?

If you're not watching Cartoon Network, you're missing out on some of the best cartoons ever.

That's not phrase I throw around lightly, their new shows are really fantastic. Like Dexter's Lab, Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack fantastic. It might just be me, but I felt like for a while there CN fell into this pit of obscurity with their shows. While shows like Ben10 and The Misadventures of Flapjack got some attention (moreso for Ben10), they seemed like they were solely for kids and not 'all audiences'.

And yes, when I say 'all audiences' I mean late-twenties guys like me.

Now a new batch of shows have popped up and are seriously great. Like add them immediately to your DVRs kind of great. Allow me to elucidate.



My reintroduction to CN started here, with Adventure Time, the story of a dog and his human in the mystical land of Ooo.

I know, I know, it sounds very... childish. Well, it is, but in a great way. There's such unbridled imagination, crazy energy, and the right kind of cartoon-y violence, it's exactly the kind of show you would want a kid to watch and you can totally enjoy as an adult-ish person.

It's got candy eating zombies, a rainbow unicorn, magic powers, crazy dungeons, knife storms, frozen business men, demon cats, wrestling, hipster vampire queens, trolls, wizards, princess rescuing, autotune singing, and MORE! Combine all this with a magic dog (voiced by Bender!) and mathematic exclamations and you got yourself a can't miss show.

Check out this clip:





The Regular Show is anything but. It's one of those that could have been on Adult Swim if the animation was shittier and the jokes were a bit more crude (no offense to Adult Swim, but you know it's true).

The show's about two twenty three year old slackers, Mordecai and Rigby as they deal with the perils of, well, being a slacker.

So far only two episodes have premiered, but they've both been hilarious. Great one liners, fun set pieces, complete absurdity, and loads of fun; it's everything you want from a great cartoon.

It's my new obsession, I suggest it becomes yours too. Here's a link to the first episode:





Man, this show is fucking epic. But it's no surprise considering it's creator: Genndy Tartakovsky. It's totally on the opposite end of the spectrum as the other two shows, it's none-the-less twice as amazing.

The show follows a stranded princess, her bodyguard, and their robot helper as they try to assimilate into Earth culture (read: High School) and fight off any intergalactic invaders (read: Giant Monsters!).

In standard Tartakovsky style, it's packed full of the crazy action anime is known for with a distinctive western tinge. In other words, it's full on giant monster fights without all the hand-wringing that hampers most animes.

If you were a fan of Samurai Jack, Voltron, or even Gundam Wing, you should love this show.

Honestly, I don't have much more to say about it, as there's only been one episode so far, but if things continue at the tempo the first episode established, this one'll become a bonafide classic.



There it is. I don't know about you, but talking about all this got me all excited. I'm gonna go watch these all over and over again.

Behold The Might Catlactus!

As seen on Agent M's tumblr and drawn by Katie Cook, this is one of the most fantastic cat/cosmic being mashups I've ever seen. And definitely the most adorable.

This is a meme that I could stand to see more of.

Check the tumblr for more cat mashups, including my other favorite: M.O.D.O.C, The Mental Organism Designed Only for Cuteness.

The Bill September 15, 2010

Another super slow week for me this week. I know, I know, I should almost put this feature on hiatus until I can figure out how to rework it.

But that would be quitting. And momma didn't raise no quitter!

Instead, let's look at what I did get and why I haven't been buying a lot lately (which isn't at all related to lack of work, I promise!)...




Buy of the Week:
Thunderbolts #148
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Declan Shalvey


Man, Thunderbolts is GREAT! Great pacing, great art, great characters, great premise. Even when they have a fill-in artist liek Declan Shalvey, it still looks totally amazing. I wish there was more of it every month, there's just too much story for one book! It also doesn't help when they get pulled into a line wide crossover.

Here's the thing, I love it when my Marvel Universe crosses over with itself; it makes me feel like everything that's happening is real and impactful (which is part of my problem with Young Allies, but I digress). That said, it's weird when I'm not reading the big central story line.

Disassembled, House of M, Civil War, World War Hulk, Secret Invasion, Siege; I was in the thick of it for all of those, for better or worse. I felt like I needed to so I could understand the books I love so much. And then there were the smaller events, mainly the X events, that I thought I could ignore and not miss much.

Apparently not so with Shadowland.

It hit me today as I was reading this Shadowland tie-in that Shadowland is actually a pretty big event. So much for it being a small family book crossover, I guess. Or maybe it's my fault for reading a bunch of street level books?

The point is I put together why I haven't been buying so much lately: I'm not buying into the big event. Normally, like with Siege, I bought a good chunk of extra books to keep up, which meant I had more to talk about during reviews. But since I'm not getting this one, suddenly my comic buying has shriveled to it's normal levels, unbolstered by big events.

It makes me feel kinda empty.

So there's the other problem. We're smack dab in the middle of this thing. Do I go buy up all the issues I missed? That seems dumb. The only answer I see is to hold tight for the next big event and never let this happen again. That, or do something really silly like buy something that's not Marvel.

Buy something other than Marvel? I say crazy things sometimes...

Can't wait for Chaos War! WOOO House of Ideas!




Opinions on my little Shadowland rant are greatly appreciated. Am I missing something awesome? Should I be buying it all? I'm thinking I should at least read the Power Man book, if for nothing else than the awesomeness that is Fred Van Lente.

Next week should be back to normal, so instead of reading my rants about crossovers, you can read my rants about hating Bendis. Try not to get too excited in the meantime.

First Issue Spectacular: SuperPro #1

What better way to kick off the 2010 NFL season than to look back on their lasting comics legacy: NFL SuperPro. Or at least the first issue, I don't think I could take the entire series...



First off, I gotta tell you that this first issue is a misnomer. SuperPro actually began a few months prior in a special of the same name. In it you got all the things you'd expect from a first issue: The origin, the introduction of the supporting cast, and the setting of the status quo.

I don't have that issue. Instead, I have an issue that reads like a second issue that refers to events that already happened without giving me reference to where they happened. It's all kinds of fun. You should be ashamed of yourselves Fabian Nicieza and Jose Delbo, you should have known better...

Anyway, the issue starts off like you would expect: With SuperPro fighting off a would be assassin.



Unfortunately for Superpro (or more accurately the guy he was protecting), during the scuffle, a second assassin appeared and shot the target. A chase ensues where Superpro shows us just how awesome he is:



Needless to say, the guy gets away.

Or does he? It seems everyone's favorite wallcrawler is in town on some dues-ex-machina business, maybe he can swing in and stop this obviously dangerous criminal.



Spidey just likes to watch, I guess. It's not like he has a history involving letting criminals run away only to have them come back and hurt him somehow. Hey... wait a minute....

Maybe he was a clone. It was the 90s after all.

Regardless, Superpro decides to call it a night. After getting picked up by his cameraman/driver/defacto sidekick Ken, SuperPro changes into his civilian identity, Phil GrayField and heads back to his hotel for some deep thinking about his origins.

And to make some late night booty calls.



The next morning, Phil heads to the courthouse for a big press conference that just happens to be targeted by another assassin. This time it's SuperPro's turn to laze on the bench while Spider-Man does all the heavy lifting.



And by heavy lifting, I mean, effectively kill a man. Cause you know, Spider-Man's badass like that. He kills guys all the time, it's not like he has a crippling guilt any time he does anything that might seriously hurt someone else.... Hey, wait a minute!

It's gotta be a clone. That's the only thing that makes sense, right?

Whatever. Spidey follows a bad tip and ends up where the action isn't happening. Lucky for us, SuperPro has the uncanny ability to be at the right place at the right time. Or a close approximation thereof.



Finally we get to see SuperPro shine as he kicks the shit out of half a dozen faceless hi-tech grunts while he spews some of the worst one liners ever.



Oh SuperPro, how can I make fun of someone so adorably stupid?

For reasons that should be obvious, SuperPro here never really took off the way everyone expected him to. Combined with the NFL getting all fidgety with the rights, this series was doomed to only last twelve issues. Twelve issues that I'm never going to read... No sir...

What's that? The following issues involve villains like a place kicker turned ninja named Quick Kick, a time traveling assassin named Instant Replay, and an issue so racist it was pulled from the stands within a week? Dammit, that sounds awesome.

I guess it couldn't hurt to read a few more...