Tuesday, February 1, 2011

NFL SuperPro Week Day Two - The Rogues Gallery

Welcome back to NFL SuperPro Week here at Platypus Robot, where I'm showcasing the greatest licensed hero Marvel published since ROM: Spaceknight.

Yesterday, I showcased the origin of this idol of hundreds and discovered that he killed the first major enemy he faced. Today, we'll see how the rest of his Rogues Gallery fared.

Over the course of his thirteen epic issues (twelve regular and one special), NFL SuperPro (Phil Grayson) faced a new villain in twelve of those thirteen issues. Of those twelve villains, five could be considered potential long term and/or recurring threats... even if they've never been seen or heard from again.

Quick Kick
AKA: Karl Moore
Occupation: Ninja Assassin
Weapons of choice: Ninja Stars, Nunchucks, Katana
Appearance: SuperPro # 2

Contrary to what the internet tells us, Quick Kick is not a place kicker turned ninja. Instead, he is a middle linebacker with OCD turned ninja. Big difference.

A teammate of Phil Grayson's when he was in college, Karl was jealous of his success. Fueled by rage and an acute attention to detail, Karl became a ninja for hire after a stint with the Miami Dolphins.

After NFL SuperPro sprang on the scene, Quick Kick was the first assassin hired to take him out. But with his emotions out of control, Quick Kick wasn't able to focus on the task at hand and died in a plane crash. The plane had been sabotaged by NFL SuperPro.

Status: Deceased

Instant Replay
Occupation: Time Traveling Assassin
Weapons of Choice: Hand claws, surprise
Appearances: SuperPro #3, #9

Not much is known about this assassin, other than his ability to cut through time as easily as he can flesh and bone. When he first appears, Instant Replay dresses like a cyborg version of Snake Eyes and talks about as much.

After Quick Kick failed, Instant Replay was hired to take down the troublesome NFL SuperPro. Their pitched battle involved a lot of sucker slaps to the back of SuperPro and not much else until the hero landed a lucky elbow to the face of the would-be assassin. Caught off guard, Instant Replay flew through a plate glass window, into a bank of TVs and dissipated. SuperPro claimed victory.

In actuality, Instant Replay had teleported and gone crazy. With a shattered grip on reality, and linear time, the assassin became a shell of himself with a singular focus on taking down SuperPro.

Months later, he attempted to kill SuperPro while he was babysitting his niece. It was a miserable failure that resulted in him landing back first onto a power coil and frying to death.

In his mind, SuperPro killed Instant Replay twice.

Status: Deceased.

AKA: Marco Sanzionare
Occupation: Gang Leader
Weapons of Choice: Missiles, brute force, elaborate death traps
Appearances: SuperPro #1, #2, #3, #4

The head of the drug trade in Los Angeles, Marco Sanzionare became the unwitting target of NFL SuperPro's good deeds. After months of hiring assassins to no avail, Sanzionare opted to take things into his own hands and take down the hero himself.

Donning an experimental exo-suit, Sanzionare started calling himself Sanction and went about luring SuperPro to his Arena of Death. To achieve this goal, Sanction kidnapped Phil Grayson's 'girlfriend' Jane Dixon with explicit instructions on how to get her back.

After running the gauntlet, SuperPro saved Jane and had a final showdown with Sanction on the rooftops of Los Angeles. A quick judo move sent them both over the edge of the building, plummeting hundreds of feet to their death. SuperPro was able to grab a ledge to stop his fall, but Sanction was not so lucky. While his fall was broken by an awning and his body protected by the suit, Sanzionare sustained major injuries in the fall.

Sanzionare could still be a threat when, or if, he ever gets out of the hospital.

Status: Detained, possibly crippled.

Occupation: Corporate Whore
Weapons of Choice: Saw blades, Latin Heat
Appearances: SuperPro #7

When Brazilian Logging Enterprises was having trouble with hippies disrupting their logging activities, Ripsaw was hired to scare them off. Unfortunately for him, his first week on the job happened to be the week that NFL SuperPro was in town for a soccer game.

On a routine hippie scare-off, Ripsaw found himself on the receiving end of a SuperPro beat down. In a move of desperation, Ripsaw was able to slice SuperPro's ankle, hobbling him and giving Ripsaw the upper hand. The victory was short-lived however, as a lone brave hippie saved SuperPro by running over Ripsaw with a Jeep four Runner. Ripsaw sustained major injuries, and probably a loss of contract.

Status: Detained, possibly crippled.

The Headhunters
Current Lineup: Hans, Flinch, Bullet, Kabuki-Back, Buck Sutter (Coach)
Weapons of Choice: Four-Man blitz
Occupation: Freelance Football Team
Appearance: SuperPro #5

After being forced out of the NFL in disgrace, coach Buck Sutter took his hard-nosed approach to football underground. He aligned himself with the strongest, most durable, and most morally flexible players he could find to create: The Headhunters.

The initial roster included: Hans, a super strong Eastern European; Flinch, an electrical engineering genius; Bullet, armed with a jet pack; and the Mysterious Kabuki-Back.

The Headhunters ran afoul of SuperPro after they attempted to steal Lawrence Taylor to play in a scrimmage match against them. SuperPro, with the help of some NFL superstars, took down the team, but the coach and an assistant escaped.

Status: Inactive; looking for new team members.

In the end, NFL SuperPro's record against villainy looks like this: Two escaped, four seriously injured, and three deceased (including Bennings). Which gives SuperPro a 33% fatality rate (factoring in the fights I didn't showcase) when he stands up against all that is evil. I'm sure The Punisher must be nodding in approval now. He just has to be.

Any last thoughts, SuperPro?

We'll let the record speak for itself.

That about does it for today. Come back tomorrow for another sketch in the afternoon and another amazing article in the evening. We're only two days in, I'm just getting started.

See you tomorrow!

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