What happens when an ordinary cop gets all kinds of generic superpowers? A terrible movie, is what.
It's another lazy Saturday and if you're anything like me, you're looking for something to fill that time between the Ace of Cakes marathon and Syfy Original movie, Supercrock. What? Don't look at me like that, Ace of Cakes is fun.
Moving on. This week I offer you, SUPERFUZZ. The best movie about a super hero cop that you've never seen.
Starring some dude you've never heard of, and Ernest Borgnine, this movie is an interesting example of early 80s super hero movies. It's very much in that same vein of 'My Secret Identity' and 'The Greatest American Hero', that is to say: heavy on the 'funny' and cheap on the effects.
When caught in a nuclear explosion, David Speed finds himself imbued with super hearing, speed, flight, and invincibility. That is, until he sees the color red.
That's right, where Superman falters at a rare mineral or Spider-Man with feelings of guilt, Dave here wishes that he was red/green colorblind. I want you to take a minute and look around whereever you're at. How much of what you see is red?
Anyway, the plot has to do with some kind of drug/espionage circle, or something. Honestly, I kinda stopped paying attention to the plot because it was in no way as interesting as watching Dave freeze his girlfriend with his mind because he was tired of her nagging. And stopped caring once Ernest Borgnine just straight up refused to believe his partner had superpowers, regardless of the first hand evidence that he witnessed.
It's totally wacky and totally awesome. 100% worth the time and effort.
This week's clip is mildly spoiler-y, in that it's the final scene in the movie, but it totally encapsulates what this movie is. If you don't fall in love when you see Ernie Borgnine dance on a giant ballooon, then I don't think we should keep seeing each other.
Now go watch it!