Drive Angry: So Close To Being So Awesome

I saw Drive Angry (in 3D!) last night, and it was almost exactly what I thought it would be. It was chock full of big dumb action, a crazy Nic Cage performance, and some laugh out lines (most of which I can't imagine were intentional), but it still wasn't quite the movie I wanted it to be.



You might remember me talking about this one months ago in one of my Weekend Matinee's where I mentioned that Drive Angry looked like the movie Ghost Rider should have been. I can indeed confirm that this is the case. Regardless of any issues this one has, it's head and shoulders above Ghost Rider when it comes to that throwback 70s grindhouse esthetic. I just wish this one went a bit further for me.



Let's back up and talk about the plot. This one is pretty straight forward: Nic Cage escapes from Hell on a mission to save his granddaughter from being sacrificed by some Satanists. Typical stuff. So the first scene of the movie is Cage escaping from Hell in a suped up (I'm assuming) American Muscle car, that promptly never appears again. I cannot tell you how disappointed I was that Nic Cage wasn't driving around in an authentic Hell Dorado the entire movie, and instead opted to go with a boring old Dodge Charger.

The rest of the movie continued with this almost awesome approach. Most notably with the most amazing Nic Cage Sex Scene EVER, in which he remains fully clothed with a novelty cigar in his mouth and a giant bottle of jack in his hand until, of course, the bad guys show up and try to kill him. It's not quite as good as a similar gunfight in Shoot'Em Up, but it does have more nakedness.

Check out the clip here if you want. It's, um, NSFW if you weren't totally sure.

The villains follow this same path of almost-the-greatest-thing-ever. William Fincher was clearly having a ball as The Accountant, but accent and delivery vary wildly throughout. That said, he does get his fair of awesome scenes - Like the one involving explosions and KC & The Sunshine band, Classic - that do wonders to make me not care too much about his shifting performance.

Meanwhile, the other antagonist (Played by Billy Burke) had his moments of super creepiness and general evilness, but wasn't as cunning or ruthless as the movie really wanted me to think he was. I mean, sure he wanted to kill a baby, but come on, it's 2011 I need more than just talk if you're going to get me to be creeped out by you.

I blame basic cable and video games.



In the end, Drive Angry has a swagger all it's own. A stupid, non-sensical, and overly confident swagger, but a unique one that only it can claim. In my opinion, you should go check this out at the cheap theatre (which'll be next week at this rate) or at home while skipping all the 3d nonsense. You should save that ten bucks and spend it on whiskey.

Because believe me, it'll only make that movie that much more enjoyable.