You got Questions?

I got answers. A few weeks ago I added a formspring box along the side panel for any questions you might have that you don't feel like posting as a comment (or emailing me directly). I finally remembered my password, and found a few questions waiting for me. Here are my answers:

Anonymous asks:
This Blog is Pretty good. Is there anything else you've written recently?

Let me tell you, compliments like that just make me feel all gushy inside. Thanks Anon, I'm really glad that you enjoy my ramblings However as it is, this is the only place you'll get them.

I do somewhat keep tumblr blog with a buddy of mine (itsatrap), but I've been overly lazy with 'trapping' new content. I should really get better at that.

Also, I wrote a couple of articles for the awesome guys over at Comic Impact, but a combination of work, holidays, and personal stuff (I moved) made it kind of fall by the wayside. I did write some fun stuff though, including a full on history lesson on industry game changers and a recap on who Rikki Barnes is. Even without my writings it's a great site and you should totally check it out. Sheldon, Simon, Dana, and (I assume, because I've never really interacted with him) Rob are great people with a fantastic comic resource page.

And hey, I'm always open to writing anywhere else if anyone's looking...

Nameless asks:
How's it been going for a year now? How come you don't actively try to get more followers? Have you made any money? How?

That's a really good question that I don't really have a good answer for. Honestly I just use this blog as an outlet for my comic passion and haven't really considered how I can make money off it.

It's weird, because I totally could, and ought to, I just never think it's an option. Part of me would feel like a sellout putting up Amazon links, but maybe I ought to just because. I dunno, it's something to consider that I really haven't thought of yet.

As for seeking followers, honestly it comes down to my modesty. I always feel weird pimping out the things that I do to other people, like I'm trying to force my products upon them, so instead I rely on other people to do the pimping for me. In life outside the internet it's the same way, where I won't tell people my accomplishments and have people around me who will tout this or that. It takes the pressure off, and then I don't feel so bad talking about it or myself because someone else is asking about it.

Maybe that's what I'll change going into year two, more amazon links and more shameless promotion. Whadda think?

My buddy over at Rated Awesome to Awful asks:
How's it going with the wirting and directing? Anything new coming up? How would The Cove like to help RATA Weekly make his Awesome commercials/webspots/youtube sensations?

Okay, for the uninitiated I'm a filmmaker. When I'm not trudging through reality TV shows, I'm part of a up-and-coming collective named Cove Entertainment. Together we focus on making fun internet shorts, our most notable ones being Living With Galactus and it's sequel.

In addition to this, I directed an award-winning festival short Background(ed) a few years back and am currently working with the team from that on a feature.

Anyway...

Right now, the writing is going WAY better than the directing. I'm working on a graphic novel (It's a western with super-science), I just finished a horror feature (Two horror geeks find themselves the stars of their own horror flick), and am just about to start writing another feature (the content to be determined, my partner and I are working on it). On the directing front, I have a really awesome horror comedy script lined up, but I'm waiting for one more revision before we really start on it.

As for new stuff, I know the guys have been hard at work pumping out new material lately, or at least shooting a lot of stuff. From what I understand, they've shot three or four shorts and are in the process of putting them together. Speaking of, I still have some really old footage that needs some love so it can be released....

As for helping out RATA, how about you shoot me an email about what you're looking for and I'll run it past the guys. We'll see if we can't figure something out.

The Lonley Lady asks:
What are the attractive qualities you look for in a woman?

After years of rejection, miscues, and otherwise not getting any, I came up with a list of requirements I look for in a woman:

1- She has to have a cute face. The way I figure it, when I'm talking to a girl for th emost part I'm gonna be looking at her face, so it better be worth looking at. I need captivating, emotional eyes; a clear-ish complexion; and a nose that fits on the face (not too big, and definitely not too small). Don't get me wrong, I love me some big boobs and/or a nice booty, but that shit doesn't last. A cute face will.

2- She has to be nice to Strangers. The easiest way to tell if someone is a good person is by how they treat people they don't know, be it waiters, ushers, or just people on the street. If I catch a girl I'm into being overly rude to someone who doesn't deserve it, it's a huge red flag.

3- She has to be Smart. Do you know how annoying it is to not have a compelling conversation with someone? Or have your jokes constantly fly over their heads? Or to have to explain the basics of everyday life? I'm sure you all do, so I'm sure you understand where I'm going with all this.

4- She has to 'get' my geekiness. This is the deal breaker. I don't mind if the girl I'm with is into comics the way I am, but I want her to understand that I love it and not try to change it. The worst thing in the world is to be embarrassed by, or otherwise shamed by what you love. I want a girl who accepts me and my geekiness as one.

And there you have it, my list for the perfect woman. Everything else (hair color, height, nationality, glasses/no glasses, etc) is all gravy. Although western shirts and polka dots are a HUGE plus.

Alright, first round of formspring down. Keep'em coming, and I'll keep answering em.

Crash'd!

You know what's fun? Turning on your Macbook to discover it can't find its boot disk.

So yeah, my machine crashed and I've spent way too many hours wrestling with it to get my data off it while trying to reinstall the OS. And its not going well. The good news I got all the really important stuff of, the bad is that the damn thing freezes up while trying to read the recovery cd. Sigh.

Anyway, I wanted to let y'all know I might not be posting a lot in the coming days as I get this all figured out. But Matt, you say, how are you posting this? The wonders of modern technology, ie my phones keyboard, and let me tell you, as convient as this is, I don't think I could go off on a hundred word diatribe on Nomad even if I wanted to, I think my thumbs would revolt.

Wish me luck and I'll see you on the other side.

UPDATE: So, as it turns out my computer is now a paperweight: The hard drive is dead. Alls not (totally) lost though, as I'll start the wheels turning on a way to fix it all tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll be stealing time on the GirlFriend's laptop when I get a chance to keep the posts a-rollin'. It can only go up from here, right?

Right?

The Best Comic Ever!

Some comic fans discover their favorite comic at an early age. Most times it's that one issue that really hooked them and molded their views on how a comic should be. (I'm looking at you, Chris Sims)

But then there's the rest of us who don't really have that experience. I know I started reading because the cool kid was and I wanted to be like him. Thousands of books later, I find myself reading because of a love for the medium and discovering the corners of continuity that never get much light. It was here that I found my new favorite book:


Hercules Prince of Power #4

The last issue in the Hercules miniseries by Bob Layton (which, incidentally, has a sequel coming out in a couple of months) includes all of my favorite things: Crazy action, drinking, and Galactus. Suddenly my life is complete.

As the story begins, Herc is being celebrated as the hero he is by the inhabitants of Ciegrim-7 (Ha, get it?), the beer planet



The celebration commences with everyone getting wasted, it's like Herc died and went to God Heaven. But of course, when things are going really awesomely, there's always a buzzkill. Enter Nova (Frankie Ray, not Richard Rider):



Herc's response is pretty much what you'd expect from anyone in his position: GTFO!



And wouldn't you know it, but a huge fight breaks out. Herc is no slouch when someone comes between him and his libations, so he goes all out, throwing everything he can at the interloper. But then, the unspeakable happens:



NOT THE BEER!



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Ahem.

Sorry, I got a little worked up there.

From the burning rubble, Frankie emerges unscathed and quite possibly drunk as she realizes who she's fighting... and gets hot.



Good thing for her the only thing Herc likes more than drinking is whoring.

While they're off 'talking', Galactus is getting pissed. For centuries he's had a free lunch waiting for him at the edge of this galaxy, but now thanks the the machinations of Hercules (probably form the proceeding three issues) it's not there anymore.

Tired, hungry, and impatient, Galactus decides he's going to eat Ciegrim-7 whether Frankie comes back to tell him it's a good planet or not.

Herc, finished with his 'chat' with Frankie, knows that this aggression cannot stand and takes the fight straight to the man in the funny purple hat.



It doesn't go well for Herc. He's smacked down and tossed aside, left to reconsider his tactics while Galactus gets his grub on.

Then Herc asks Galactus the question that I've always wanted to ask:



And they proceed to get drunk together.



In the end, they share a few laughs and Galactus decides that getting wasted is just as good as eating, opting to leave the famed beer planet alone. So while Galactus flies off looking for something else to snack on, Herc heads back to the planet looking for something else...



I dare you to find a better comic than this.

The Coming Shadow(land)

This week's batch of Marvel internet teasers are for the impending Daredevil crossover, Shadowland. From the best reports it'll deal with the street heroes of New York learning to deal with DD's new status quo as the head of the Hand. Something like that.

So here was the teaser that was released yesterday:



Here's my question: What's the Punisher doing on this cover? I mean, yes, I understand that he's one of those quintessential Marvel street heroes and, yes, I can see that he's shooting Spider-Man in the crotch with an M16, but doesn't he look a bit different these days? I dunno, something like this:



Are we going to be in for some weird contiuity manuevering? Will Frankencastle be swept under the rug canonically? Or worse, will Frankencastle cease to be?

It's a question I'm not sure I want answered. All I know is that I don't want my FrankenCastle to go away yet.

Also: Read FrankenCastle!

In case you weren't aware...

Over at Thenerdybird.com there was a contest to win a four day pass to the Geek Mecca that is The San Diego Comic Con. Many entered this random drawing, and only one emerged the winner.

That winner was me.

Crazy, right? I can't tell you how excited I am. I've had a huge smile on my face all weekend and I don't suspect it'll go away until the end of July. It's going to be a blast and I can't wait to go. I'll bring my laptop so I can keep y'all posted on the happenings and experiences inherent in the world's biggest comic convention.

And hey, if anyone wants to meet up let me know, I'm planning to take in the entire convention the right way, with loads of comics by day and gallons of drinks by night. I'm game for whatever, who's with me?

Super Gigantic Hyper thanks to Jill at theNerdybird for making it all possible!

Weekend Matinee: DEAD HEAT

Do you like buddy cop movies?

Do you like Zombie movies?

You do? Then brother, I have the peanut butter for your chocolate, Dead Heat. This forgotten classic teamed Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo as the original odd couple, where one was playing by his own rules, while the other was DEAD!

It's full of all the crazy pseudo science and outrageous action you would expect from an 80s movie and adds... well not much really, that's pretty much all it has going for it. Just check out this clip:



This week's moral is to never go to a butcher shop when a zombie apocalypse is afoot, the results can be most fowl. HA!

And yeah, I know that would be better with a beef joke. Whatever.

Also, if you're ever in need of putting down a psychotic side of beef, just remember to pump a full round into it's chest cavity, apparently that's the best option.

Celebrity Fan Letters

No no, not for this site. Oh heavens no. I don't think any celebrities read this site... or do they? Whatever, onwards.

One of my favorite things to do when I read older comics is to read the letters page. It's here that you see fandom hasn't changed at all from the 1960s. People complaining about DD's costume change (that's to the red, not to the armor), complaints about changing it to Invisible Woman (in the eighties no less! I was baffled), people complaining about all kinds of things that we, as a collective reader, don't see as big deals anymore. And sometimes these letters are written by people who went on to actually write the comics.

While I was reading X-Force #1 for my very first post, I came across a curious letter.

"It's amazing that a book about charaters whose philosophy I object to so
strongly could interest me so much!"

He goes on to muse about the secrets of Stryfe:

"As for Stryfe... I don't see how he could actually be Cable... Maybe Stryfe
is Cable's son"

Interesting theory. He goes on to talk about the upcoming cast and how he was surprised that Cannonball and Boom-Boom opted to stay:

"I was especially surprised that he [Cannonball] and Boom-Boom did nothing
when Cable cold-bloodedly killed Brute"

So who was this wordsmith, published by Marvel before he even dreamed of having a contract there? Read the letter for yourself:



It was Christos Gage, current writer on Avengers Initiative (soon to be Avengers Academy), the House of M spinoffs, among others. Pretty cool, right?

I thought so, but I always find it fascinating to get a glimpse of these full on stars, especially comic stars, before they made it.

I'll keep my eyes open for more! Let me know if you find them first!

War Machine v. Cable in Three Panels

In War Machine #1, Jim Rhodes shows Cable the armor AND the attitude...





Jeez, get a room guys already!

War Machine #1 from the bombastic minds of Scott Benson and Len Kaminski with the pencils from forgotten star Gabriel Gecko

Kick Ass review

Before I start, let me get something out of the way:

Kick Ass was pretty kick-ass.

There, pun complete. I'm happy, and you don't have to wonder when I'm going to work it into my review. Now lets move on.



I'm not going to lie to you, I really didn't have any high hopes walking into Kick Ass. I tend to be a very reluctant fan of Mark Millar, in that his hucksterism gets to me and turns me off his stuff, but I'll be damned if the majority of his stuff isn't pretty awesome. Kick Ass was exactly that, pretty awesome.

The story goes that one day, perpetual every-teen Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) decides to become the best citizen ever and through on a mask to take on crime head on. Along the way he becomes an internet phenomenon, inspiring others to take up the fight only to raise the ire of the resident drug kingpin. All this is done, of course, with the typical Millar flair for violence and crazy action, which was the real selling point for me.

Turning it up a notch were all the performances. From Johnson's nervously confident Kick-Ass, to Nic Cage's as the Daddy-Dearest-with-a-shotgun superhero Big Daddy, everyone was perfectly cast. My favorite character though, and the one that surely steals the movie, is the spry tough-as-nails 12 year old Hit Girl played by Chloe Moretz. Her scenes are by far the best things in the movie, full of the craziest of crazy action and one of the best lobby scenes since the Matrix. She's probably the main reason I want to see it again, I was so pumped up by all that.



This stuff isn't Shakespeare, but it still never failed to entertain me. I don't know if I was just in the mood for a superhero adventure with a side of crazy violence or what, but it just blew me away with how much fun it all way.

I honestly haven't been blown away by a movie in this way in long time. You know that feeling you get when a movie just grips you and you're taken for a great ride, only to be tossed aside as the movie ends? That ragdoll-whiplash of emotions? That's how I felt after Kick Ass.

With such a fantastic start, I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer brings. Now the bar is set even higher for Iron Man 2.

Fabulous 100th Post!

Woulda look at that, 100 posts on my little blog. Not bad for less than a year. I mean, not all that great either, but still not bad. I feel like I'm going strong and finally finding my voice on this damned thing. Here's to a hundred more!

And, to keep the tradition alive from my fifteth post, here are all the issue 100s I own. Also this will probably be the last time I do this, because A- not many series reach over a hundred; and B- It's kinda silly and I really ought to focus on generating new content. Right? RIGHT!


This book was just floudering at the time, I only bought this because I had the previous 99 issues. Which is saying something, considering that it's X-Force.


Power Man and Iron Fist is the greatest team up ever. I really need to write about them more.


The start of Claremont's second coming and coincidentally when I stopped reading comics. (SPOILERS: I started reading them again!)


Honestly, I bought this one because it was a shiny collectors item. I remember not knowing what was going on, but it was kinda nice to see someone actually die from the Legacy Virus. You know, aside from little girls.


Hyped as being the issue where Wolverine finally got his adamantium back, they sure fooled us by turning him into a noseless pirate for six months. I think they were trying to punish us...


So in this issue, Spidey creates a new suit of armor to get, I dunno, the villain or something. It was totally great, lasers had no affect, bullets were worthless, it was unstoppable! Until someone made it really cold, and the armor shattered. I was very disappointed.


I believe my thoughts on Spider-Girl are pretty clear.


I totally own this book, and totally love it. Iron Man, uh, recaps his origin and faces off against some classic foes. It's great! You should totally go read it and let me know what you think about it.


Daredevil in the mid seventies was weird. He moved to San Francisco, lived in sin with the Black Widow, fought robots from the future, and in this one, fought mind altering hippies. Thank god Frank Miller came around.


Featuring the first appearances by Feral and Shatterstar, this is the book that made me an X-Force devotee.

Shut up, I was 13. Get outta here!

Ask me things!

In case you haven't noticed (and I'm sure you did because you pour over my entire blog everyday... right?), I added a formspring box over along the side bar.

What's formspring, you ask? Well it's effectively a way to ask me questions in a really convinient way and/or anonymous way. It's kinda silly, I know, but hey, why not right?

So, want to ask me something, but don't want to leave a comment? Too lazy to send me an email? Scared that I might actually know who you are? Whatever the case, try the formspring if you want. Anonymous or not, I'll post the answers here so we can all reveal in the answers together.

Here's the form, just in case you never noticed it before.



Here's looking forward to answering the burning questions you might have from a strange blogger on the interwebs. Because when you have a blog like I do, suddenly your opinion matters... or something.

Weekend Matinee: Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li

I don't know how many of you have seen Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li (but given the box office receipts, I'm going to assume not many), but it is hands-down the best Chris Klein performance ever. Well, best being a relative term.

Chris Klein summons his inner best Nic-Cage-in-The-Wicker-Man, and turns in a performance that transcends notions of good or bad to become infinitely awesome. As Charlie Nash, Klein is a hard-living agent of Interpol who is so badass he doesn't even have an accent. He the type of super-secret agent that I bet James Bond wishes he could be.

So for this week's matinee, please enjoy this mashup of Klein's amazing performance:



He loves his job and I do to.

Now to start a letter-writing campaign for a Charlie Nash movie. Who's with me?

Shadowhawk, Poster Child for The Extreme

Oh Shadowhawk, you're so badass with your violent, anti-hero ways and your armored, yet mobile costume in your ongoing battle with crime that would make Jean Paul Valley cringe.


I love your no nonsense approach to taking out the criminals...



Breaking their backs so they'll never commit a petty crime again, or at least not one without ample wheelchair access.

I always feel like Shadowhawk is the red-headed step-child in the pantheon of Image heroes. Which is really saying something, when you think about it. With the exception of Spawn, none of those early Image books were more than just a flash in the pan. I mean sure, WildC.A.T.S has been around for a while in multiple incarnations AND had a short-lived Saturday morning cartoon and Youngblood had the star power of Liefeld to keep it afloat even though no one will publicly admit to liking the book, but it's not like they've become cultural institutions like the X-Men, Avengers, JLA, or the Teen Titans. The point is, they were known more for the creator than the characters, while Shadowhawk was the other way around. What's even more ironic, is that even though Shadowhawk got the public's attention in ways that the others didn't, he stilled failed to make a lasting impact. Hence the red-headed step-child thing.



For whatever the reason, I'll never forget that hype:

"He's like Batman, but he breaks backs..."

There's something so simplistically beautiful about this that just edges itself in to the crevices of my mind. He could have even inspired AzBats, which is really weird if you think about it.

"And he's black."

Add in the Wolverine-like claws and mask and you got yourself a bonafide success... on paper. It's as if Jim Valentino turned to a focus group to create Shadowhawk, in an attempt to make him everything that the fans want in a character. Unfortunately when you create a character through that kind of grab bag approach, it just comes off as gimmicky.

"And he has AIDS!"

And the coup-de-grace, the socially relevant piece of the puzzle that really got him in the papers. He was a hero on a schedule and was going to take as many criminals with him to the afterlife as he could. I'm almost surprised he didn't bleed on them while he was breaking their backs, just to make that more shocking.

Shadowhawk embodies everything excessive about the 90s extreme movement (a movement I'm coining right now). His appearance, motivation, and methods were extreme TO THE MAX, attempting to engage the audience through that instead of good ol'fashioned character-building. The problem with such extreme traits is that they overshadow anything else the character has to offer.

I can honestly tell you all the things that make up Shadowhawk because of the extreme excess, but I couldn't tell you who he is or anything meaningful about him. And to me, that's the epitome of 90s: Lots of flash without any substance.

Secret Avengers REVEALED

For months Marvel has been plaguing the interwebs with promos for their new team books; single member shots with pithy phrases that explain who they are. Except for the Secret Avengers, the new book from Ed Brubaker and Mike Deodato, those were just silhouettes of the team members.

Until now!

Thanks to Bleeding Cool, the intertubes premiere comic rumor site, the team is finally revealed. Check it:



The team seems like it might just work. The only thing that doesn't? Captain Steve's new costume. I mean yes, it's nice to see someone taking up the mantle of The Fighting American that's not Rob Liefeld, but that costume is best left in the past.

A Survival Guide To Your First Indian Wedding

I was a groomsman in one of the most extravagant weddings I've ever been to this weekend. There was a horse, swords, two big dance parties, and a guest list exceeding 300 of the couple's closest friends and family. If you haven't guessed by now, this wasn't the traditional Christian wedding, instead it was a traditional Indian wedding.

As a white guy, I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. The bride and groom (an Indian girl and a white guy) did their best describing what the different events were and what to expect, but there still details that slipped through the cracks which I had to figure out the hard way. So, in an attempt to pass on the knowledge I picked up, allow me to present a survival guide to your first Indian Wedding.

What to Expect

The thing to remember when attending one of these ceremonies is that it's more for the families than it is for the bride and groom. Traditionally the wedding is about the integration of these two different families, so all of the events therein are designed to get both sides talking, mingling, and otherwise joining together. This is also why the events take place over the course of a few days, as just one or two days with your new in-laws just isn't enough to really bond everyone together.

The ceremony has remained the same for some 5000 years, but has seen some things rearranged in the past few years as the whole pre-arranged partner has fallen by the wayside. Currently, the ceremony can be divided into four significant events: The Mehndi, The Grah Shanti, The Garba, and the Wedding.

The Mehndi (Min-dee)

The Mehndi is largely for the women, but has become the hallmark for kicking off the proceeding events. The whole thing starts with a March of the Colors, which is basically a walk loudly proclaiming that the bride is ready for marriage and the wedding is imminent. You basically make a big ruckus, which will be a reoccurring theme for the whole ceremony.

After the march, it's time to tat up the bride with Henna, this brown ink-like stuff that gives you a wicked cool tattoo for up to three weeks. While the bride is getting herself all kinds of intricate designs, the other women are encouraged to get designs on their hands as well.

Traditionally it's a way for the women to bond, fawn, and be all girl-y before the wedding. But what about the men? From what I figure, traditionally the men would have other things to do, so they weren't a part of the event at all. However, as time rolls on, the event has evolved to be a semi-casual event for everyone to coome enjoy. The men generally just hang out with each other while the women tat each other, but at least they're in the same location.

In the end, it's a good chance to get to know the people that you'll be seeing a lot of for the next few days. For me, it was the biggest culture shock, but as long as you have an open mind and an appetite, you'll be fine. Just don't forget to take your shoes off.

The Grah Shanti

Welcome to the religious precursor to the wedding itself. In a relatively short ceremony, the bride is blessed and covered with a yellow paste to purify her for marriage. From what I gather, this is every woman's chance to rub yellow paste on the bride if they'd like.

As a quick side note about these weddings, it's very pro-participation. Most of the events boast big group events that encourage you to join in and have fun, so don't be afraid to get in there and do it. It might feel a bit strange at first, but it's all part of the fun.

Anyway, the paste is later washed off, leaving the bride a glorious shine. I think that traditionally the groom gets the same process, but because our groom was white it would make him look more sickly than glorious, so we skipped that part.

Finally the bride and groom get small 'forget-me-not' bracelets, intended to remind them that in a few days (or the next day in our case) they would be getting married to each other. I guess that's one way to make sure the groom doesn't oversleep and/or run off.

The Garba (Grr-ba)

This event is more of a regional thing (Gujarati, specifically) than an all encompassing Hindi thing, so you might not get to experience this crazy dance party.

Traditionally this was the reception to the actual wedding, but as the years have gone by, it has been moved to before the ceremony while a more western reception has taken it's place after the wedding.

When it comes down to it, this is all about dancing and making a ruckus (see, I told you!) while celebrating the new (or almost new) couple. It begins with a big circle dance where everyone who can dances and skips around in one joyous group.

Can't find the rhythm? Can't figure out the steps? Worried that you might fall over and make a fool of yourself? Don't even worry about it. As long as you're trying, that's all that matters. Find a gap in the circle and get those legs moving because it's more about the celebration than it is the moves.

It doesn't end there though, the big circle dance is only part of the whole thing. Next, sticks are busted out and the circles break into two (an inner and outer ring). Everyone has the same basic pattern to banging the sticks with a partner in the other, concentrically moving ring. It's like a big game of patty cake, but with sticks and your partner keeps changing. It's crazy amounts of fun, and don't be afraid to toss in a few flairs to the standard pattern to really have a good time with it.

Finally, there is what's called a 'Drunken Dance' where the circles are no longer in play and everyone just pretends to dance drunkenly.

Another quick aside here, be prepared to do all this dancing sober, these weddings are normally dry. I won't lie to you, this combined with the lack of meat, was a little rough for me to get used to, but once you fall into the excitement of everything your inhibitions just drift away just like with booze... it just takes longer.

The Wedding

Finally, after a couple days or partying, it's time for the main event and it starts with another big ruckus. This time it's a parade for the groom, where his side of the aisle dances, plays music, and generally celebrates how awesome this guy is as he rides to the temple atop an elephant or (in case an elephant isn't available) a horse.

Originally this was one of the first things to happen, as it was the first time the groom would meet with the family. So the purpose of the big parade is to prove to the other family how infinitely cool this guy is. Really you're just a big hype crew there to get the other family excited about this guy they're giving their daughter to.

As you get to the door, the other family welcomes you, joining in the dancing and generally trying to show the groom how awesome they are and why he should be excited to be there to marry their daughter. They welcome the groom in with happiness and humor, and escort him with his immediate family to the alter for the ceremony to begin.

Here things are pretty standard, all things considered. The bride and groom sit in chairs, flanked by their parents, and go through a ritual of blessing, cleansing, and bonding until ultimately being declared husband and wife. The words might be different from a Christian or Jewish wedding, but the intention is exactly the same.

That's pretty much all there is to it. After the wedding, there's normally a western-style reception that celebrates the union with more dances and good times.

Conclusion

It's very easy to get intimidated by a wedding like this, especially if you're not used to the culture, but if you look past the colors and the language, you'll see that it's all to celebrate the impending union. Yes it's a bit of a culture shock, but the trick is to let go of your inhibitions and stop worrying about doing things wrong and just go for it. You might not be able to understand all the words that are being said, or own the ornate saris, or have the great dancing ability as some of the others, but as long as you're trying it doesn't matter.

In general, when at an Indian Wedding just remember these three simple things:

1- Take your shoes off
2- Wear loose, bright clothing. It's hard to dance and celebrate in a black suit.
3- Make a ruckus. Remember you're there to celebrate this love and show how awesome
your side of the wedding party is, so don't be afraid to go big with your support.

I suggest you all go out and experience one of these, because it's totally awesome.

That's all I got, I'll go back to comics next time...I promise.

Weekend Matinee: Night of the Comet

Tonight's clip comes from the forgotten 80s classic about the dangers of dehydration: The Night of the Comet.



Also it's about wanton destruction of late 70s town cars. The moral: Cars might not care about what kind of gun you shoot them with, but make sure for your own sake you use a gun you're used to that won't jam and embarrass you by jamming. Because nothing's worse than an inability to perform when randomly shooting up a car.

Laundry

It almost makes me feel better that even superheroes have to engage in the most tedious of tasks... Almost.

Anyone want to do my laundry tonight? Anyone?

First Issue Spectacular - WildC.A.T.S

I swear I own at least three copies of this comic. Why I'm not sure, all I know is I apparently liked this particular issue when it came out.



For those not in the know, WildC.A.T.S was one of the Image launch titles, and certainly feels like it. This one was Jim Lee's baby, a decidedly X-Men like book that combines covert opts with crazy space aliens.

For all the jokes I could make about it, it's not a TERRIBLE book. Lee's firing on all cylinders, the plot is serviceable, and the concept is... well, it's right in Lee's wheelhouse and that works. It's not as outlandishly bad as say Youngblood of off putting as Wetworks, but it has one major flaw: it's generic.

It's no wonder this book went through so many permutations and has yet to have one truly stick, there's nothing about it that really sets it apart from anything else on the stands. In this way, it was very indicative of the 1990s, where there were spats of books that were high energy, well drawn, but lacked the originality that could really engage a reader and create a long-lasting franchise.

It's never a bad thing to invoke thoughts of other works in your own, but it's never a good thing when you can't distinguish your own work from that which inspired it.

And really, that's WildC.A.T.S' problem: it feels just like an X-Men spinoff of the time.



In reading the first issue I was just struck at how dull and unoriginal the book was. It did hit the ground running and with a well-thought out plot, so kudos for that, but otherwise I forgot about it as soon as I finished reading it and that's never a good thing.

Wait a minute. Maybe that was the plan all along: Make people forget about once they finished it, so they would keep buying the same copy over and over again. But who would be dumb enough to do a thing like that...



I take it all back, that's downright genius!

Weekend Matinee: Arnold Edition

I know I did Running Man a few weeks ago, but I couldn't resist showcasing this AMAZING ten-minute montage of all the greatest Arnold movie moments:



The moral: An Austrian accent makes even the most cliched lines cool, just don't make any of the words too long.